With the help of the Internet and television many people are becoming famous. Is this a positive or a negative trend?

#help #internet #television #people #trend

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this

Linking Words

modern and digital era, many individuals become

celebrities

Use synonyms

by posting videos on

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

and participating in reality shows on Television. In my perspective,

this

Linking Words

is definitely a positive development to become popular and succeed in

carees

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careers

career

prospective

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perspective

show examples

. To commence with, television and

socia

Correct your spelling

social

media platforms are the best platforms to showcase talents and skills.

For instance

Linking Words

, Every day many youngsters and adults get fame by posting their dancing or music videos.

Also

Linking Words

, many artists perform in different television shows and impress audiences

Change preposition

with

show examples

their acting skills.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in today's time, younger generations follow

celebrities

Use synonyms

and sports personalities and make them their

rolemodels

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role models

to become

successfull

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successful

in life.

In addition

Linking Words

, many individuals

not

Add a missing verb

are not

show examples

only

recognize

Wrong verb form

recognised

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in society but

also

Linking Words

living

Wrong verb form

live

show examples

a higher standard and luxurious life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

celebrities

Use synonyms

can not live like a normal citizen. Followers and

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

are always

interrupted

Wrong verb form

interrupting

show examples

their personal lives.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, sometimes many

celebrities

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or famous personalities have

Fix the infinitive

apply

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become victims of critics or other people by

makeing

Correct your spelling

making

inappropriate statements or comments on social media.

Thus

Linking Words

, sometimes fame and glory will compromise privacy and negatively impact on personal life and relationships. In conclusion,

interenet

Correct your spelling

Internet

and

televisions

Fix the agreement mistake

television

show examples

are the best and the coolest ways to get fame and become popular.

Submitted by bhavsar.urvashi on Tue Oct 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Expand on your main points and provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt and provides a balanced argument.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource of your essay.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve the grammatical range and accuracy of your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

207 words

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With the help of the Internet and television many people are becoming famous. Is this a positive or a negative trend?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport system such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this.

The best/ only way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that after the child begins his/her schooling their teachers will have more influence than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?