IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billons) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. UK telephone calls, by category, 1995-2002 Call type: Local - fixed line National and international - fixed line Mobiles (all calls) Minutes (billions) 100 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10 0 2000 2001 2002 1999 1998 1997 1995 1996

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billons) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. UK telephone calls, by category, 1995-2002 Call type: Local - fixed line National and international - fixed line Mobiles (all calls) Minutes (billions) 100 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10 0 2000 2001 2002 1999 1998 1997 1995 1996
#minutes #billons #telephone #uk #three #categories #information #features #comparisons #category #type #line #mobiles #billions
The bar chart illustrates the total number of
minutes
 of telephone calls in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
England and is divided into three categories from 1995-2002.
to begin
 with, the total
minutes
 of local fixed lines outnumbered those who used worldwide fixed lines and mobiles.
This
 local-fixed
line
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
steadily increased from 1995 to 1999
then
 tapering off to an almost identical level from 1999 to 2002.
Moreover
, the worldwide fixed
line
 was gradually increased in 8 years.
Also
, the total number of
hand phones
Correct your spelling
handphones
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased steadily from 1995 to 2002 except from 1999 to 2001 it
was rising
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 sharply.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
less
Correct word choice
smaller
show examples
 number of mobile calls were used than other categories in the UK. The international fixed
line
 was three times larger than mobile in 1995.
However
,
this
 variation
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
 15
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
 in 2002.
Moreover
, the local fixed
line
was
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 rising around 40
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
worldwide
Correct article usage
the worldwide
show examples
 fixed
line
 in 1995
then
 it was reduced
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 10
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
 in 2002.
Submitted by krishmahendran19 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, line with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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