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In achieving personal happiness, our relationships with other people (family, friends, colleagues) are more important than anything else. Issues such as work and wealth take second place.

#happiness #relationships #people #friends #colleagues #work #wealth #second #place
Presently, living happily and having good social ….. is highlighted by many people throughout the world, followed by
work
 and
money
.
Everyone
 wants to be happy more than anything. So, they need to find something to make them happy
in
Change preposition
apply
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every day. I strongly believe in
this
 statement and I will show my opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with,
happiness
 in life, we cannot deny that we do not want to be happy in our lives.
Everyone
 always finds a reason for living
as well as
 they find
happiness
 every day. Each person has a different thing to make them enjoy
such
 as eating their favorite food, listening to their favorite songs and other personal
happiness
. They are the most essential because they are the easiest things to make you always feel good.
Also
, good relationship is important for
everyone
, the reason is being surrounded by no toxic people is the best way to be in a fine social that puts you in a happy mood too. Some people claim that
work
 and wealth are important
lesser
Correct word choice
apply
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than two things
before
Rephrase
apply
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. How wealth important is
money
 can buy anything you want.
For example
, if you have a lot of
money
, you can buy things that make you happier. Related to
work
, if you are good at
work
 you are paid many salary.
Everyone
 can see many millionaires they are always happy and spend their
money
 to make themselves happy. In conclusion,
happiness
 is a mood that
everyone
 wants.
Therefore
, the main of joy is personal
happiness
 and relationships in reality.
Second,
the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 joy are
work
 and wealth. I agree it is true because
everyone
 around the world is happy.
Submitted by pramai177 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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