In achieving personal happiness, our relationships with other people (family, friends, colleagues) are more important than anything else. Issues such as work and wealth take second place.

Presently, living happily and having good social ….. is highlighted by many people throughout the world, followed by
work
and
money
.
Everyone
wants to be happy more than anything. So, they need to find something to make them happy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every day. I strongly believe in
this
statement and I will show my opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with,
happiness
in life, we cannot deny that we do not want to be happy in our lives.
Everyone
always finds a reason for living
as well as
they find
happiness
every day. Each person has a different thing to make them enjoy
such
as eating their favorite food, listening to their favorite songs and other personal
happiness
. They are the most essential because they are the easiest things to make you always feel good.
Also
, good relationship is important for
everyone
, the reason is being surrounded by no toxic people is the best way to be in a fine social that puts you in a happy mood too. Some people claim that
work
and wealth are important
lesser
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
than two things
before
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. How wealth important is
money
can buy anything you want.
For example
, if you have a lot of
money
, you can buy things that make you happier. Related to
work
, if you are good at
work
you are paid many salary.
Everyone
can see many millionaires they are always happy and spend their
money
to make themselves happy. In conclusion,
happiness
is a mood that
everyone
wants.
Therefore
, the main of joy is personal
happiness
and relationships in reality.
Second,
the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
joy are
work
and wealth. I agree it is true because
everyone
around the world is happy.
Submitted by pramai177 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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