IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Being a celebrity– such as a film star or singer – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

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Almost every single person in society is willing to be known by the public. They think being a high-profile member of the community leads to a lot of advantages,
however
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, some people argue that there are
also
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 disadvantages. I reckon its merits overweight
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
show examples
. With regard to the benefits, those who are well-known in the nation are likely
be
Add the particle
to be
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 a constructive person in society. They are able to impress the community
as well as
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 the government.
For example
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, when the
occassion
Correct your spelling
occasion
 arises to support the
poors
Correct your spelling
poor
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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celebrities play an effective role
to level
Change preposition
in leveling
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 up
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public awareness.
Moreover
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, they own a huge audience
besides
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 the media support.
Therefore
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, they can manage to
publices
Correct your spelling
publicise
voice
Correct article usage
the voice
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 of the
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
 groups regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the problems in the nation.
On the other hand
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, when it comes to the drawbacks, I should put the privacy first.
For instance
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, when celebrities
shows
Change the verb form
show
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 up at a public place
such
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 as a cafe, a bunch of teenagers are highly likely to turn to them for a signature or a selfie.
Although
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, their personal achievement is associated with the support of the nation and they are under an obligation to the public, unfortunately, the celebrities find
this
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 disorder conduct annoying.
However
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, I believe
this
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 is part of their job, and should be ignored thanks to its financial profit. In conclusion, a high-profile person is able to make great contributions
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to the community.
However
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, there are
also
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 some minor side effects impacting their personal life.
As a result
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, the advantages of popularity overcome its disadvantages.

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task achievement
Expand on the benefits of being a celebrity and provide more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices and linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure to enhance clarity.
lexical resource
Expand vocabulary and use more varied language.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence construction.
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