IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Write about the following topic: Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#topic #group #students #classroom #home #minutes
There is a common belief that studying in a conservative
classroom
 environment with
students
 is superior compared to remote learning at home. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 approach is completely beneficial for learners because they can be more proactive, and dedicated to their
subjects
 far away from distractive tools
such
 as computers and laptops. During lectures in the
classroom
,
students
 join
subjects
 passively or
intentially
Correct your spelling
intentionally
,
therefore
 their environments will be interactive. Despite the fact that they have to join
this
 ongoing learning process, they will be far away from their desktops.
This
 means there are no technological devices around them to interrupt their learning sections. During
pandemic
Add an article
a pandemic
the pandemic
show examples
,
for example
, some
students
 preferred playing video games during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online classes to listening to their tutors.
As a result
, most of them failed to understand their
subjects
, and
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
 their scores
became falling
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 down. Personally, classrooms might provide appropriate environments for being an interactive learner during lectures.
Moreover
,
who
Correct determiner usage
those who
show examples
 are easily distracted because of their computers, will be protected from distraction in physical classes. From my perspective, sitting in the
classroom
 with pupils provides opportunities for asking questions and learning better. If
students
 learn their
subjects
 better, it will be obvious that old-fashioned learning is still
remarkable
Correct quantifier usage
more remarkable
show examples
 than new approaches. In conclusion, a part of people believe studying with the old-fashioned method of being in a
classroom
 is more advantageous than
distant
Replace the word
distance
show examples
 learning at home. I agree with
this
 belief because not only can it help
students
 to be more active during their lessons, but
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can be avoided from distractive devices
such
 as their gaming computers or laptops.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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