The international community should take action immediately to ensure that all countries reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#community #action #countries #consumption #fuels #gas #oil

It is often said that one of the most important responsibilities of the international community is to ensure that all countries reduce their consumption of fossil

fuels

such

as natural gas and oil. From my perspective, I completely agree with

this

idea.

Firstly

, one significant reason for

this

argument is that the international community is taking action to reduce pollution levels.

For example

, in most industrial countries

such

as India, which is one of the largest coal producers in the world, we all know that most of its cities have high levels of pollution and people often suffer from respiratory diseases.

This

means that by undertaking activities to reduce the use of fossil

fuels

, these problems can be minimized.

Moreover

, they will

also

be disappointed in the near future.

Therefore

, it is evident why the consumption of fossil

fuels

should be decreased

as well as

discontinued.

Secondly

, another reason is to conserve animals, especially endangered species like cheetahs and lizards.

For example

, most people in the world prefer to use private vehicles

instead

of using bicycles or public transportation systems. Since our cars burn fossil

fuels

this

could lead to dire situations for all animals.

This

will lead to their extinction.

Therefore

, by legislating to reduce the consumption of fossil

fuels

, the international community can create a safer environment for all living things on Earth. All in all, I firmly believe that the extraction of natural gas and oil should be reduced or even stopped. It is expected that through

this

surgery, our world will become a habitable place without any troubles in the near future.

Submitted by y2083749065 on Wed Oct 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Expand on the argument of reducing pollution levels. Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your point.

coherence cohesion

Provide more specific examples or evidence to support the argument of conserving endangered species.

coherence cohesion

Revise the conclusion to provide a stronger ending by summarizing the main points or offering a final thought on the topic.

task achievement

Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction that explicitly states your position on the topic.

task achievement

Include a counter-argument or address potential opposing views to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Improve the coherence by using more transitional phrases or linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs.

grammatical range accuracy

Check for grammar errors and improve sentence structures to enhance clarity and fluency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

fossil fuels
consumption
gas
oil
international community
climate change
environmental degradation
global problem
collective action
renewable energy sources
sustainable future
economic growth
development
rely heavily on
unrealistic

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