The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

#show #sales #sector #zealand

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie chart gives information about the online shopping

sales

for

retail

Add an article

the retail

show examples

sector in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. As can be seen from the graph, the online shopping

sales

of travel

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

decreased significantly from 36% in 2003 to 29% in 2013. It could be noticed that the online shopping

sales

of clothes

also

dropped substantially from 24% in 2003 to 16% in 2013.

In contrast

to travel and clothes, the online shopping

sales

of books

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

an upward trend, which has

grew

Change the verb form

grown

show examples

3% from 2003 to 2013. After that, the online shopping

sales

of film and music

also

rose

for

Change preposition

show examples

12%

Change preposition

from

show examples

2003 to 2013.

To sum up

, there was a strong downward trend in the number of online shopping

sales

in travel and clothes from 2003 to 2013. At the same time,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online shopping

sales

Change preposition

for

show examples

books,

film

Fix the agreement mistake

films

show examples

and music

got

Verb problem

became

show examples

more and more popular.

Submitted by asllchkied on Wed Oct 04 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

151 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie chart
online shopping
retail sector
New Zealand
comparison
increase
shift
traditional
popularity
platforms
technology
internet access
consumer behavior
preferences
factors
growth
impact
brick-and-mortar stores
challenges
opportunities
future trends

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The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people feel that there is too much emphasis on getting an education, and that the government should spend money on leisure time activities for young people too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is known to all that the technological and scientific advances have made great changes to the range and quality of our food. Some people regard it as an improvement while others believe that the change is harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Many people believe that schools should teach students good behavior as well as other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In the future, nobody wiil buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?