The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

#show #sales #sector #zealand

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The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie chart gives information about the online shopping

sales

Use synonyms

for

retail

Add an article

the retail

show examples

sector in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. As can be seen from the graph, the online shopping

sales

Use synonyms

of travel

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

decreased significantly from 36% in 2003 to 29% in 2013. It could be noticed that the online shopping

sales

Use synonyms

of clothes

also

Linking Words

dropped substantially from 24% in 2003 to 16% in 2013.

In contrast

Linking Words

to travel and clothes, the online shopping

sales

Use synonyms

of books

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

an upward trend, which has

grew

Change the verb form

grown

show examples

3% from 2003 to 2013. After that, the online shopping

sales

Use synonyms

of film and music

also

Linking Words

rose

for

Change preposition

show examples

12%

Change preposition

from

show examples

2003 to 2013.

To sum up

Linking Words

, there was a strong downward trend in the number of online shopping

sales

Use synonyms

in travel and clothes from 2003 to 2013. At the same time,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online shopping

sales

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

books,

film

Fix the agreement mistake

films

show examples

and music

got

Verb problem

became

show examples

more and more popular.

Submitted by asllchkied on Wed Oct 04 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

151 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie chart
online shopping
retail sector
New Zealand
comparison
increase
shift
traditional
popularity
platforms
technology
internet access
consumer behavior
preferences
factors
growth
impact
brick-and-mortar stores
challenges
opportunities
future trends

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The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Review the book "In Valeria's Shoes" by Elisabet Benavent.

In many countries , many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is therefore, necessary for governments to impose higher tax on this kind of foof. Do you agree or disagree