The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie chart gives information about the online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
for
retail
Add an article
the retail
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sector in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. As can be seen from the graph, the online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
of travel
has
Change the verb form
have
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decreased significantly from 36% in 2003 to 29% in 2013. It could be noticed that the online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
of clothes
also
Linking Words
dropped substantially from 24% in 2003 to 16% in 2013.
In contrast
Linking Words
to travel and clothes, the online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
of books
shows
Change the verb form
show
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an upward trend, which has
grew
Change the verb form
grown
show examples
3% from 2003 to 2013. After that, the online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
of film and music
also
Linking Words
rose
for
Change preposition
by
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12%
in
Change preposition
from
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2003 to 2013.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there was a strong downward trend in the number of online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
in travel and clothes from 2003 to 2013. At the same time,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
books,
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
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and music
got
Verb problem
became
show examples
more and more popular.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • online shopping
  • retail sector
  • New Zealand
  • comparison
  • increase
  • shift
  • traditional
  • popularity
  • platforms
  • technology
  • internet access
  • consumer behavior
  • preferences
  • factors
  • growth
  • impact
  • brick-and-mortar stores
  • challenges
  • opportunities
  • future trends
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