The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
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pie chart gives information about the online shopping
sales
for
retail
Add an article
the retail
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sector in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. As can be seen from the graph, the online shopping
sales
of travel
has
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have
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decreased significantly from 36% in 2003 to 29% in 2013. It could be noticed that the online shopping
sales
of clothes
also
dropped substantially from 24% in 2003 to 16% in 2013.
In contrast
to travel and clothes, the online shopping
sales
of books
shows
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show
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an upward trend, which has
grew
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grown
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3% from 2003 to 2013. After that, the online shopping
sales
of film and music
also
rose
for
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by
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12%
in
Change preposition
from
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2003 to 2013.
To sum up
, there was a strong downward trend in the number of online shopping
sales
in travel and clothes from 2003 to 2013. At the same time,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online shopping
sales
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
books,
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
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and music
got
Verb problem
became
show examples
more and more popular.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • online shopping
  • retail sector
  • New Zealand
  • comparison
  • increase
  • shift
  • traditional
  • popularity
  • platforms
  • technology
  • internet access
  • consumer behavior
  • preferences
  • factors
  • growth
  • impact
  • brick-and-mortar stores
  • challenges
  • opportunities
  • future trends
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