Sending criminal to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

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The issue of how to effectively deal with
criminals
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has long been a subject of debate.
While
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some argue that sending them to prison is the best solution, I firmly believe that there are better methods for rehabilitating offenders.
This
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essay will present arguments supporting
this
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viewpoint.
To begin
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with,
education
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plays an important role in transforming the lives of
criminals
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. Offenders can gain useful
skills
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and information if they have access to educational programs within correctional facilities.
Education
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promotes personal development, critical thinking, and problem-solving
skills
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, allowing individuals to make constructive choices after they are released.
Furthermore
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, it provides an opportunity for intellectual development, creating a sense of self-worth and allowing them to make a significant contribution to
society
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.
Furthermore
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, job training programs teach practical
skills
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that improve employability and prevent crime. Giving
criminals
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vocational training is the same as teaching them how to fish rather than simply giving them
a
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apply
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fish.
Criminals
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can acquire high-paying employment by learning marketable
skills
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, reducing the motivation to engage in criminal activity.
This
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strategy not only helps them reintegrate into
society
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, but it
also
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reduces the burden on correctional systems because fewer people return
into
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to
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criminal conduct. The opponents may argue that heavy punishments work as obstacles and protections for
society
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.
However
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, evidence consistently shows that
education
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and job training programs have a much bigger impact on lowering crime rates and promoting successful reintegration. In conclusion,
while
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imprisonment may temporarily remove
criminals
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from
society
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, it fails to address the underlying causes of criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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. We can provide offenders with the
skills
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they need to repair their lives and contribute positively to
society
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by prioritizing
education
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and job training within the correctional system.
Thus
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, these rehabilitative measures undoubtedly surpass the punitive approach of imprisonment in terms of achieving long-term social harmony.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but the essay could benefit from a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction. This will help guide the reader and set up the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to support the arguments presented. This will make the essay more persuasive and convincing.
grammatical range accuracy
There are minor grammatical errors throughout the essay. Be careful with subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make the essay more sophisticated. Use synonyms and varied language to express ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Recidivism
  • Rehabilitation
  • Incarceration
  • Reintegration
  • Vocational training
  • Root causes
  • Deterrence
  • Cost-effective
  • Societal reintegration
  • Employment opportunities
  • Stable income
  • Criminal behavior
  • Rehabilitative methods
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