Sending criminal to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?
The issue of how to effectively deal with
criminals
has long been a subject of debate. While
some argue that sending them to prison is the best solution, I firmly believe that there are better methods for rehabilitating offenders. This
essay will present arguments supporting this
viewpoint.
To begin
with, education
plays an important role in transforming the lives of criminals
. Offenders can gain useful skills
and information if they have access to educational programs within correctional facilities. Education
promotes personal development, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills
, allowing individuals to make constructive choices after they are released. Furthermore
, it provides an opportunity for intellectual development, creating a sense of self-worth and allowing them to make a significant contribution to society
.
Furthermore
, job training programs teach practical skills
that improve employability and prevent crime. Giving criminals
vocational training is the same as teaching them how to fish rather than simply giving them a
fish. Correct article usage
apply
Criminals
can acquire high-paying employment by learning marketable skills
, reducing the motivation to engage in criminal activity. This
strategy not only helps them reintegrate into society
, but it also
reduces the burden on correctional systems because fewer people return into
criminal conduct.
The opponents may argue that heavy punishments work as obstacles and protections for Change preposition
to
society
. However
, evidence consistently shows that education
and job training programs have a much bigger impact on lowering crime rates and promoting successful reintegration.
In conclusion, while
imprisonment may temporarily remove criminals
from society
, it fails to address the underlying causes of criminal behavior
. We can provide offenders with the Change the spelling
behaviour
skills
they need to repair their lives and contribute positively to society
by prioritizing education
and job training within the correctional system. Thus
, these rehabilitative measures undoubtedly surpass the punitive approach of imprisonment in terms of achieving long-term social harmony.Submitted by asllchkied on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but the essay could benefit from a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction. This will help guide the reader and set up the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to support the arguments presented. This will make the essay more persuasive and convincing.
grammatical range accuracy
There are minor grammatical errors throughout the essay. Be careful with subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make the essay more sophisticated. Use synonyms and varied language to express ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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