IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You were recently impressed by a staff member at a supermarket. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter. • describe the situation • explain how you were helped • state what you are going to do as a result of this good experience

#staff #member #supermarket #manager #situation
Dear Sir or Manager.
Initially
, Introducing myself, My name is Sarvinoz. Today, I am going to write to the supermarket's staff, Whose name is Katrina. Two days ago, By visiting shopping, I saw her kindness
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and hospitality. To be honest, To start my home decoration, I faced some charities, What
color
Change the spelling
colour
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 I have to choose for being beautiful my room. The staff
assist
Wrong verb form
assisted
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 me in working out of
this
 problem. She
appeared to
Verb problem
asked
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 me, what things
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 suitable for me.
According to
 these, Katrina picked out bright colours as I wanted.
While
 speaking with me, She smiled with sweetness for me. I am going to share my idea with you. Having like these workers in society,
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will improve of a company.
In addition
, Good
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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needs
Wrong verb form
are needed
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 in every place. I want to share my impression with you. In the future, I will pray to multiply like these people in the future Yours faithfully, Sarvinoz
Submitted by sarvinozjumayeva813 on

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task achievement
Include a more specific description of the situation and the staff member's actions.
coherence cohesion
Use a more formal greeting and closing.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
lexical resource
Avoid repetitions and unnecessary words.
grammatical range and accuracy
Check your grammar and sentence structure for errors.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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