IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#data #earnings #three #bakeries #calgary #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph demonstrates the yearly
income
Use synonyms
 of three bakeries (Amandine
Bakery
Use synonyms
,
Mari
Use synonyms
Bakeshop
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Bolo
Correct word choice
and Bolo
show examples
 Cakery) in the city of Calgary between 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 throughout the period the revenue of
Mari
Use synonyms
Bakeshop
Use synonyms
 greatly fluctuated,
whereas
Linking Words
 two other bakeries witnessed an increase,
although
Linking Words
 most of the time the
income
Use synonyms
 of Amandine
Bakery
Use synonyms
 remained stable.
Initially
Linking Words
,
Bolo
Use synonyms
 Cakery had the lowest earnings in the year 2000, which constituted roughly 20000$, compared with
Mari
Use synonyms
Bakeshop
Use synonyms
 which started at the peak of the chart and accounted for nearly 80000$. In terms of Amandine
Bakery
Use synonyms
, the revenue was quiescent the first five years at just less than 60000$, before it rocketed to over 100000$, which is the biggest figure of all. In relation to
Bolo
Use synonyms
Bakery
Use synonyms
, the sales hovered till 2003 and
consequently
Linking Words
 levelled out at about 40000$ in 2003-2006. In 2004 the earnings of
Mari
Use synonyms
Bakeshop
Use synonyms
 boomed from 80000$ to almost 100000$,
however
Linking Words
, afterwards they began to gradually decrease.Eventually, between 2007 and 2008
Bolo
Use synonyms
 Cakery managed to surpass the annual
income
Use synonyms
 of
Mari
Use synonyms
Bakeshop
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Mari
Use synonyms
Bakeshop
Use synonyms
 stabilised at 40000$ from 2008 till the end of the given period. In the matter of
Bolo
Use synonyms
Bakery
Use synonyms
, whose
income
Use synonyms
 culminated in approximately 60000$.
Submitted by belchicovaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words income, bakery, mari, bakeshop, bolo with synonyms.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: