Some poeple say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in thie free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on thier own. ' Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#poeple #parents #children #part #group #activities #thie #time #thier

İt

Correct your spelling

is known that every family growing to their chilren

diffirent

Correct your spelling

different

type. Some parents want

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

chilren

Correct your spelling

children

join to

organazed

Correct your spelling

organised

group

activiteis

Correct your spelling

activities

others are not.

this

essay will

expline

Correct your spelling

explain

explore

both organized

group

activities and free time. On the one hand,

group

activities

Add a missing verb

are so

show examples

import

Replace the word

important

show examples

cheldren

Correct your spelling

children

growing. İt

mekes

Correct your spelling

makes

increase their

relatationship

Correct your spelling

relationship

relationships

, ability and

realiaze

Correct your spelling

realize

. That's why most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

parents

Add an article

the parents

show examples

choucing

Correct your spelling

choosing

the

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

way.

For example

, my

friand's

Correct your spelling

friend's

show examples

son who is 12 years old,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

was very

shyne

Correct your spelling

shy

with

other citizen

Change the wording

another citizen

other citizens

show examples

then

his father

got

Verb problem

made

show examples

a decision for his son and the boy started

group

games

Change the noun form

game

show examples

therapy. when the boy played his

friand

Correct your spelling

friend

show examples

that loss

shyning

Correct your spelling

shining

by day by,

finnaly

Correct your spelling

finally

overcome

Wrong verb form

overcame

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

his

caractery

Correct your spelling

character

characters

On the other hand

,we have to let children be free

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

in their free time. İt has positive

site

Correct your spelling

side

show examples

and negative side

firstly

, they may

Verb problem

apply

show examples

get bored and live depressed because all

childen

Correct your spelling

children

not

similer

Correct your spelling

similar

someone

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

are strong

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

are not.

Secondly

, if

thay

Correct your spelling

they

may not be depresed, they will be strong people because they will learn how to occupy themselves on

thier

Correct your spelling

their

own.

For instance

, my

leatly

Correct your spelling

lately

douther

Change the word

more douth

show examples

played

everytimes

Correct your spelling

everytime

alone and she has

Correct article usage

a strongly

show examples

strongly

Change the word

strong

show examples

scology

Correct your spelling

ecology

psychology

. it

was be

Change the verb form

was

show examples

thanks to

played

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

alone, not

need

Wrong verb form

needing

show examples

others

Change noun form

others'

other's

show examples

friands

Correct your spelling

friends

show examples

To sum up

, the to way

Add a missing verb

is so

show examples

important because

bot

Add an article

the bot

a bot

show examples

is correct.

İn

Correct your spelling

my opinion we have to the

bast

Correct your spelling

best

show examples

way to

according to

children. Some

chidren

Correct your spelling

children

wan

Correct your spelling

want

show examples

to play with

friand

Correct your spelling

friends

show examples

because they can be happy with

friands

Correct your spelling

friends

show examples

while

games.

Thay

Correct your spelling

They

show examples

can

learning

Change the verb form

learn

be learning

show examples

a lot of things thanks to games.

Submitted by ares.grup on Wed Oct 04 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
59Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?
A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and cinema influences the young generation and therefore makes the violence number rise significantly. Even though I believe that portraying violenceviolance on TV has a detrimental effect on society I totally disagree that it can cause such an increasing number of criminality in society.
4.5
band
At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
As life has becomed more convenient and comfortable, families have seemed to have more than two children. Therefore the number of young adults in some nations has surpassed the older generation. Personally, I consider this phenomenon as a more positive than worrying one.
5.5
band
Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.
Tourism is very important in many countries ,and tourism is the main income of their countries. At present, many people prefer to visit this amazing place. So, some think that this action will be valuable ,but some believe that this situation may be harmful to places. This essay will discuss both views and will give reasons.
6
band
Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?
Food is basic but essential source of living. The natives feel that food has become easier to prepare and has changed their way of living.
<4
band
16. The number of people working online from home has grown in some countries. What advantages and disadvantages can come to this trend?
In the modern world, rapidly developing and changing technology has impacted the working sector positively which apparently facilitated many employees and employers to work online from home, with the help of internet and modern technology inventions such as computers, laptops, tabs and remote tools. Recent years have witnessed there is huge growth in a number of people working online from home for the comfort and fast progress in their professions. In this essay I will shed some light on the merits and demerits of new working mode.

Some poeple say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in thie free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on thier own. ' Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?

16. The number of people working online from home has grown in some countries. What advantages and disadvantages can come to this trend?