IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the increasing demand for energy oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

#demand #energy #oil #gas #people #sources #places #areas
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Some people that the natural
sources
Correct your spelling
resources
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 in remote regions should be used to satisfy an incremental consumption of petrol and
gas
 nowadays. Whilst it could increase the production of
such
sources
, I personally believe that there are more downsides than merits derived from
this
 suggestion. On the one hand, the proponents suggest that
enlarge
Wrong verb form
enlarging
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 the scale of
region
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the region
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 to look for necessary natural resources is essential since more and more developing countries introduce modern technologies into their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, provoking the demand for oil and
gas
 growing in size. On top of that, finding energy in remote areas could prevent the market
being
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from being
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 monopolied by a few institutions, and ensure a more stable price for everyone.
On the other hand
, there are various drawbacks derived from the situations as
such
, first of all, associated activities done in remote areas could lead to drastic negative effects
to
Change preposition
on
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local
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the local
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 environment, and cause
extinction
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the extinction
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 of local species. Take
Amazon
Correct article usage
the Amazon
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 as an example, the area has the highest biological diversity, it many species vanished
due to
 human activities.
Secondly
,
a
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apply
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higher production of traditional
sources
 with
cheap
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the cheap
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price
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prices
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 could affect the development of clean energies, considering the higher cost and less
convience
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convenience
.
For instance
, there are many
restirctions
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restrictions
 to
use
Wrong verb form
using
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solor
Correct your spelling
solar
 power, including a bigger space required to insulate the
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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,
along with
 it, an expensive
reparing
Correct your spelling
repairing
 fee, if the price of petrol and
gas
 fee is cheap, consumers will
loss
Replace the word
lose
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 interest in using those clean
envergy
Correct your spelling
energy
. To summarise, the energy
crises
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crisis
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 is inevitable nowadays, which
despirately
Correct your spelling
desperately
 need to be solved, though there
are
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is
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suggestion
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a suggestion
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 for looking into rural areas for the
sources
 of oil and
gas
, in my perspective,
such
 solutions could only stimulate more disadvantages than advantages, not only will endanger the living space for wild animals, but cause negative effects on
development
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the development
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 of new energy.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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