IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
It is admittedly true that the wonder of modern
science
 has become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part and parcel
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our daily
life
. I
am strongly agree
Change the verb form
strongly agree
show examples
 with
statement
Add an article
the statement
show examples
 that the most essential
am
Correct your spelling
aim
show examples
 of
science
 should be to develop
individual's
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals'
show examples
 lives. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss some
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 about
aim
Add an article
the aim
show examples
 of
science
 and provide strong evidence. Let's begin by looking at the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of
science
 in
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. First of all, we can use almost every
items
Change to a singular noun
item
show examples
, which
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 invented by
science
, and
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 our
life
 easy. In
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
, there are no
people
 who
are not use
Change the verb form
are not using
show examples
science
's invention. What I mean by
this
 is that we have been using the discovery of
science
 since the very beginning of
science
 journeys.
Additionally
, we are receiving benefits of
science
 every moment and
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 our
life
 easier
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than in the past.
For instance
, by using
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
show examples
 phone, computer and many more to increase our knowledge and do our daily work and study easily,
while
 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 no chance to do that in the past.
Consequently
, it is invented various types of gadgets to fulfil
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 to do anything easily.
On the other hand
, there are some
people
 who want to invent some products which are harmful for individuals
life's
Change noun form
' lives
show examples
.
For example
, rich and powerful countries want to make weapons for war by using the scientific method, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 very dangerous and harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
.
As a result
, a large number of
people
 die day by day using
invention
Add an article
the invention
show examples
 of
science
bad
Change preposition
in bad
show examples
 ways.
To sum up
, it is uncountable that
science
 is absolutely crucial
important
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
for our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. So, the one and only aim of
science
 should be to increase mankind's lives.
Submitted by ayeshatulmaowa79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more coherently.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice for better accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: