IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The given graph compares the percentage of the demographics aged 65 and over in three different European countries. Overall, it could be seen that the most aged country throughout the years is Germany and by predictions Germain will remain at the same place in the rating, whereas the youngest state was and will be the United Kingdom. All countries went upward over the period. According to the data, the percentage of pensioners in Germany in 1988 accounted for one fifth of all population, while the proportions in the United Kingdom and Canada were 14.23 and 16.32 respectively. After 12 years the percentage of old men in three countries rose, in Canada and Germany climbed by around 5% each, but the rise in the United Kingdom didn’t reach even 1%.At the end of the period given in question, Germany remained the oldest country with 30.42%. While Canada and the United Kingdom rose to 26.35% and 20.35% in turn.

The given graph compares the percentage of the demographics aged 65 and over in three different European countries. Overall, it could be seen that the most aged country throughout the years is Germany and by predictions Germain will remain at the same place in the rating, whereas the youngest state was and will be the United Kingdom. All countries went upward over the period. According to the data, the percentage of pensioners in Germany in 1988 accounted for one fifth of all population, while the proportions in the United Kingdom and Canada were 14.23 and 16.32 respectively. After 12 years the percentage of old men in three countries rose, in Canada and Germany climbed by around 5% each, but the rise in the United Kingdom didn’t reach even 1%.At the end of the period given in question, Germany remained the oldest country with 30.42%. While Canada and the United Kingdom rose to 26.35% and 20.35% in turn.
The given graph compares the percentage of the demographics aged 65 and over in three different European countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, it could be seen that the most aged country throughout the years is
Germany
Use synonyms
 and by
predictions
Add a comma
,predictions
show examples
 Germain will remain at the same place in the rating,
whereas
Linking Words
 the youngest state was and will be the United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
. All countries went upward over the period.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the percentage of pensioners in
Germany
Use synonyms
 in 1988 accounted for
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
 of
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 population,
while
Linking Words
 the proportions in the United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 and Canada were 14.23 and 16.32 respectively. After 12 years the percentage of old men in three countries rose, in Canada and
Germany
Use synonyms
 climbed by around 5% each, but the rise in the United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 didn’t reach even 1%.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the period given in question,
Germany
Use synonyms
 remained the oldest country with 30.42%.
While
Linking Words
 Canada and the United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 rose to 26.35% and 20.35% in turn.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words germany, kingdom with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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