A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear..., You should write at least 150 words.

#friend #schools #difficulty #advice #suggestions #friends #clubs #school #activities #addresses

Dear John, I hope you are doing well and

this

letter finds you in good health and spirits. I know you are having a hard time adjusting to the new school environment, but, don't worry. I'll let you know about the things to do

Remove the comma

apply

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so that you won't be bored and feel like home. First of all, you can introduce yourself to some of your peers and get to know

about

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apply

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each other.

additionally

, search for any clubs in your school and join

atleast

Correct your spelling

at least

a couple of them, so that you can make

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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friends

easier

Correct word choice

more easily

show examples

Also

, try to actively engage in different kinds of

sport

Change the noun form

sports

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activities,

for

example

Add the comma(s)

,example

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Basketball, baseball etc

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You can

also

spend your free time exploring the school premises and there will be a lot of new folks to talk and spend the rest of your time. I believe

this

suggestion will help you to fit

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into

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the new atmosphere and I will be happy to meet you on

holidays

Fix the agreement mistake

holiday

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. I hope to see you soon and take care

off

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show examples

yourself. Yours lovingly John

Submitted by nr143123 on Thu Oct 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea or suggestion.

coherence cohesion

Revise the greeting and closing to make them more natural and appropriate.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

178 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation

The internet is the best way to know about different things around the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet? How can this problem be solved?