Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

#men #women #money #beauty #care #was #root #behaviour #results

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For the time being, the

beauty

Use synonyms

industry is the one in which

hefty

Correct article usage

a hefty

show examples

amount is

spend

Change the form of the verb

spent

show examples

by both males and females as compared to the past expenditure.The root causes and

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

consequences will be

dicussed

Correct your spelling

discussed

in the upcoming paragraphs.

Although

Linking Words

there are many reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

overspending on

beauty

Use synonyms

products, the most prominent is to imitate the actors and

actress

Fix the agreement mistake

actresses

show examples

. To explicate, the advertisements of

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

show examples

brands leave their unforgettable image in the minds of individuals,that's why

instead

Linking Words

of using

homeremidies

Correct your spelling

home remedies

, they just follow their role

moodel

Correct your spelling

model

models

For instance

Linking Words

, the prominent company Olay promoted their product under eye brightening cream, youngones

trust

Wrong verb form

trusted

show examples

these commercials blindly,

for

Correct word choice

and for

show examples

this

Linking Words

they

make

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

the purchase. Another reason is Job opportunities because

asthetic

Correct your spelling

aesthetic

beauty

Use synonyms

is appreciated by everyone

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

in the

pofession

Correct your spelling

position

of cashier, travel

agents

Fix the agreement mistake

agent

show examples

etc.

Thus

Linking Words

, for the improvement in

personality

Add a comma

,personality

show examples

these

proucts

Correct your spelling

products

are used. The ramifications of these materials

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to the loss of natural

beauty

Use synonyms

, the commercialized products by themselves are rarely used by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous personalities;

however

Linking Words

,the youngsters opt for

beauty

Use synonyms

surgerioes

Correct your spelling

surgeries

due to

Linking Words

being presented and supported by their

exampler

Correct your spelling

example

. But, these treatments actually hurt their skin and

consequently

Linking Words

become dull.

Moreover

Linking Words

in order to support these things ,they overspend the money which should be utilized for education, paying

mortages

Correct your spelling

mortgages

rent

Correct word choice

and rent

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, their

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

going

Verb problem

becoming

show examples

redundant as it's not only hurting their body,

Linking Words

also

Correct word choice

but also

show examples

putting their future in hardship.

To conclude

Linking Words

, to appreciate and follow

some one

Correct your spelling

someone

show examples

fruteful

Correct your spelling

fruitful

nevertheless

Linking Words

firstly

Linking Words

the implications of these treatments or merchandise should be done before trying,

otherwise

Linking Words

it may permanently affect the skin.

Submitted by mdkaur84 on Thu Oct 05 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

media influence
idealized beauty standards
disposable income
economic prosperity
technological advancements
beauty products and services
cultural shifts
social contexts
personal health and wellness
self-care routines

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Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepare them to be good parents. In what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?