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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart below gives information on changes
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of citizens who were born in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and outside the country residing in other places from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that a large percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 were born in
cities
Use synonyms
 regardless of the country and the year.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the largest proportion of
people
Use synonyms
, 60%, was born in
cities
Use synonyms
 outside
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 1995,
whereas
Linking Words
 the smallest one,
appromixately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 15%,
in
Add a missing verb
was in
show examples
 towns. Another key finding is that in 1995 there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 more
people
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
born in rural areas both in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and outside, 25% and 40% respectively. It can be seen from 2010 that the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
smallest position on the chart
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who were born in rural areas outside
Australia
Use synonyms
 (
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 10%),
while
Linking Words
 the biggest one is
people
Use synonyms
 from
cities
Use synonyms
 outside the country (60%). What is more,
people
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 from rural areas and
cities
Use synonyms
 of
Australia
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 rated equally, at about 17
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, in 2010.
Submitted by alii.viisl on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, people, cities with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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