IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to gat a university education. Some people believe that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or diasgree?

#students #families #areas #gat #university #education #people #universities #diasgree
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In many countries, many underprivileged
students
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 are not able to achieve higher
education
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 in
universities
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due to
Linking Words
 critical financial situations or
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
universities
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 or college
facilities
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 in rural areas. To combat
this
Linking Words
 situation, many experts believe that
universities
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 should arrange
facilities
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 by giving scholarships or free
education
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 for those
students
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. In my perspective,
universities
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 and other educational institutions should come forward and help them to get
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education
Add an article
an education
show examples
. To commence with,
universities
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 and
government
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 should take
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
essential measures to improve educational
facilities
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 for disadvantaged families and remote areas. First of all,
universities
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 and
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should make
a special reservation seats
Correct the article-noun agreement
a special reservation seat
special reservation seats
show examples
 or
quota
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quotas
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 for all those
students
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, so they will get higher
education
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
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government
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the government
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 should increase
number
Change the article
the number
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 of new
government
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 colleges and
universities
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each part of countries and
make
Verb problem
provide
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 free
education
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 for all
students
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,so
any
Correct determiner usage
all
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students
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 can get
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education
Correct article usage
an education
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 from their hometown without worrying about tuition fees.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
universities
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 should combine with other
non- profit
Correct your spelling
non-profit
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 organizations and make programmes to spread awareness about
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of higher
education
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 in today's modern and competitive world.
In addition
Linking Words
,
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should make strict rules and regulations and offer
universities
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 to achieve specific
target
Fix the agreement mistake
targets
show examples
 from
this
Linking Words
 background.
Thus
Linking Words
, all
students
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 can get
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education
Add an article
an education
show examples
 without any kinds of barriers. In conclusion, it is
undeniable
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an undeniable
the undeniable
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 truth that still, many young and talented
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 are not able to achieve
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Correct article usage
a universities
show examples
universities
Change the noun form
university
show examples
education
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due to
Linking Words
 poverty and lack of educational
facilities
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with the statement that
universities
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 should provide scholarships and
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government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should facilitate free
education
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 to all underprivileged
students
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 as
education
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 is a
basis
Replace the word
basic
show examples
 right for all citizens.
Submitted by bhavsar.urvashi on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words to improve coherence and cohesion.
grammatical range and accuracy
Watch out for punctuation errors.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • disadvantaged families
  • rural areas
  • university education
  • scholarships
  • financial aid
  • allocate
  • seats
  • outreach programs
  • support services
  • succeed
  • collaborate
  • governmental organizations
  • opportunities
  • targeted policies
  • initiatives
  • challenges
What to do next:
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