The graph below shows fast food consumption among men and women in 2015

The graph below shows fast food consumption among men and women in 2015
The bar
graph
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
an overview regarding the fast
food
consumption
among
men
and women in 2005. Starting with the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
fast
food
consumption
between genders,
refering
Correct your spelling
referring
to the provided bar
graph
,
men
account for
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
percentage of daily
carlories
Correct your spelling
calories
from fast
food
among all
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
. The above data indicates that
men
are more likely to engage in an unhealthy diet.
On the other hand
, the pattern of fast
food
consumption
regarding the
age
groups can be found.
According to
the
bard
Correct your spelling
bar
show examples
graph
, the
percentge
Correct your spelling
percentage
of average percentage of daily calories
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
fast
food
in 2015 was declining with increasing
age
. It shows that young people will have
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
chance to consume fast
food
in their daily life
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to elderly people.
Overall
, the
graph
shows the patterns of fast
food
consumption
regarding the aspect of genders and
age
groups. It is believed that young
men
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
the
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
chance of engaging in unhealthy
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
while
elderly women
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
the lowest chance of engaging in unhealthy
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, food, consumption, men, age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • fast food consumption
  • men
  • women
  • 2015
  • compare
  • contrast
  • differences
  • reasons
  • solutions
  • excessive
  • address
  • issue
  • recap
  • final thought
What to do next:
Look at other essays: