the pie charts below shop the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#shop #sales #sectors #zealand #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The pie charts compare the amount of money spent on online shopping in retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

It is clear that

the proportion of consumers spending on books, films, and music had risen considerably from 2003 to 2013.

While

others including travelling and

clothes

sectors had seen a slight decline

overall

in the same time period. Looking at the details, in 2003, approximately 36% of the percentage of people purchasing tickets for travelling,

whereas

films and music were just 21%.

In contrast

, the proportion of sales in books and

clothes

, with 19% and 24% respectively. Despite

this

, online shopping for travelling and

clothes

was preferred over others. By 2013, there was a considerable increase in the proportion of people in films and music, rising by 33%.

Similarly

, there was a rise slightly in the books sector of sales from 19% to 22%.

While

, the percentage of revenues for

clothes

and travelling witnessed significant declines, at 16% and 29% respectively.

Submitted by baohoanguyenngoc1010 on Fri Oct 06 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words clothes with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

164 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retail sectors
online shopping sales
percentage increase/decrease
significant growth/decline
electronic goods
clothing and footwear
food and beverages
household goods
recreational goods
stable sales
emerging sectors
overall growth
decade comparison
shift in consumer behavior
e-commerce
trend analysis
market dynamics
purchasing habits

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the pie charts below shop the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are acomplete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some believe that exercise is important for health while others think that balanced diet is more important. Discuss both points and give your opinion.