the pie charts below shop the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

IELTS Writing Task Chart for the pie charts below shop the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The pie charts compare the amount of money spent on online shopping in retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

It is clear that

Linking Words

the proportion of consumers spending on books, films, and music had risen considerably from 2003 to 2013.

While

Linking Words

others including travelling and

clothes

Use synonyms

sectors had seen a slight decline

overall

Linking Words

in the same time period. Looking at the details, in 2003, approximately 36% of the percentage of people purchasing tickets for travelling,

whereas

Linking Words

films and music were just 21%.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the proportion of sales in books and

clothes

Use synonyms

, with 19% and 24% respectively. Despite

this

Linking Words

, online shopping for travelling and

clothes

Use synonyms

was preferred over others. By 2013, there was a considerable increase in the proportion of people in films and music, rising by 33%.

Similarly

Linking Words

, there was a rise slightly in the books sector of sales from 19% to 22%.

While

Linking Words

, the percentage of revenues for

clothes

Use synonyms

and travelling witnessed significant declines, at 16% and 29% respectively.

baohoanguyenngoc1010Fri Oct 06 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words clothes with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

164 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retail sectors
online shopping sales
percentage increase/decrease
significant growth/decline
electronic goods
clothing and footwear
food and beverages
household goods
recreational goods
stable sales
emerging sectors
overall growth
decade comparison
shift in consumer behavior
e-commerce
trend analysis
market dynamics
purchasing habits

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the pie charts below shop the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

In country where there is a high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hop of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?