IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

“Developed countries have a higher obligation to tackle climate change than developing countries” Discuss the extent to which you agree with this statement.

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Climate
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change
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 is a global issue that affects all nations and their people. In light of the
newlyreleased
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newly released
newly-released
 global sustainability goals, perhaps we should focus on what actions
countries
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 can take to effect a
change
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 rather than arguing who should take responsibility.
Hence
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, I disagree with
this
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 statement and will be presenting my argument in
this
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 essay.
While
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 some may
argu
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argue
 that
devlopd
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developed
countries
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hv
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have
 a higher obligation than
dvloping
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developing
 bc they
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hv
Correct your spelling
have
 greater
rsourcs
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resources
resource
 and
capacity
Correct article usage
the capacity
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 to tackle
climat
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climate
change
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, I would argue that
deveopd
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developed
develops
&
developing
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and developing
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countris
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countries
 are Equally responsible.
Firstly
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,
although
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 developed
countries
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 have the technological means to tackle
climate
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change
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,
such
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 as building hydroelectric dams and wind farms, developing
countries
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 tend to consume less
energy
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 per capita. Switching to renewable
energy
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 does not solve the over-demand of
energy
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 in developed
countries
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 and should not be presented as the primary step forward.
Instead
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, all
countries
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 should find ways to reduce
overall
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energy
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 consumption per capita by introducing more
energy
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-efficient technology or reducing
energy
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 wastage.
However
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, developing
countries
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 often have many more urgent domestic issues
such
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 as war and food shortages than developed
countries
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 - developed
has
Wrong verb form
countries have
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 more responsibility.
Such
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 issues leave little spare resources and time for developing
countries
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 to address
climate
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change
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. Developed
countries
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 have much more spare capacity to address
climate
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change
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. They should
also
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 help developing
countries
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 do so,
such
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 as donating recycling machines and fluorescent lamps to developing
countries
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 in a bid for their infrastructure to be more environmentally friendly. Explain what resources they
dont
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don't
hv
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 - technologyDeveloped
countries
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 - civil
socieety
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society
grps
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groups
 fight
for
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to
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 tackle
climate
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 changeSecondly, developing
countries
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 often have bigger, younger families who can aid in the community effort against
climate
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change
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 - equal responsibility - developing
countries
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hv
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 more untouched natural
landscaps
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landscapes
landscape
/environments - focus on protecting them. Young adults can help plant more trees, and children can quickly cultivate habits that reduce water and electricity usage,
such
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 as showering in the river and being outdoors
in
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during
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 the day as much as possible. Developed
countries
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 generally have an ageing population but a more tech-savvy younger generation, which can advocate through online platforms to reduce their carbon footprint,
such
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 as using non-disposable items and initiating
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climate saving
Add a hyphen
climate-saving
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 startups. All
countries
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 should play their strengths in tackling
climate
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change
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, and having one country contribute more than the other only cultivates dissent.
However
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, developed
countries
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hv
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have
 a greater obligation bcos they can leverage their current technology to tackle
climate
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change
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 more efficiently than developing
countries
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. There are numerous discoveries made in universities across developed
countries
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 that can potentially solve
climate
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change
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 issues. Inventions
such
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 as heat-reflecting paint could replace the
energy
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-intensive air conditioning systems and save tremendous amounts of electricity. With
such
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 technology, developed
countries
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 can much more efficiently reduce their carbon footprint than developing
countries
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.In conclusion, all
countries
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 have to play a part in tackling
climate
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change
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. The root cause of
climate
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change
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 is increasing
energy
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 consumption per capita. We should work towards

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lex
Be careful with the use of abbreviations (hv, bc, devlopd, dvloping, etc.) as they are informal and not suitable for formal writing.
task
Make sure to clearly state your position on whether developed countries or developing countries have a higher obligation. Your introduction does not clearly state your stance.
cohe
Organize your ideas better by separating them into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
task
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and develop your ideas further.
lex
Be cautious with sweeping statements that may not be fully supported. For example, mentioning that developing countries tend to consume less energy per capita without providing evidence or data to support this claim.
lex
Rephrase some sentences to improve clarity. For example, instead of 'Switching to renewable energy does not solve the over-demand of energy in developed countries and should not be presented as the primary step forward.', consider 'Switching to renewable energy alone is not sufficient to meet the high energy demand in developed countries, and therefore, should not be considered the sole solution.'

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mitigate
  • technological advancements
  • infrastructure
  • initiatives
  • sustainable practices
  • collective impact
  • common but differentiated responsibilities
  • international agreements
  • vulnerable
  • transition
  • green energy
  • historical emissions
  • financial resources
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