IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The two pie charts gives information about how online shopping changed for retail trade in canada in 2005 and 2010.

The two pie charts gives information about how online shopping changed for retail trade in canada in 2005 and 2010.
#two #information #trade #canada
The two pie charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
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 information about how online shopping changed for retail trade in
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
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 in 2005 and 2010. In general, we can see that
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
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 in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 sectors tended to be better off than
Correct article usage
the
show examples
electronics and home furnishings sectors
fall
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in 2010. As is presented in the pie charts for home furnishings changes was not for the benefit, the indicator in 2005 was about one in four decreased to 15% in comparison with food and beverage. Which is
move
Correct article usage
a move
show examples
 upward from almost 22 per cent.
Furthermore
, the number of people who did shopping
rised
Wrong verb form
rose to
show examples
 only five per cent of video games between 2005 and 2010. Meanwhile, for electronics and
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
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appliance
Add a comma
appliance,
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 the
patternappers
Correct your spelling
pattern appears
 to be slightly
same
Correct article usage
the same
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. In 2005,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most people did online shopping in
this
 category, but in 2010 the most
saled
Correct your spelling
sold
 sector was food and beverage.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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