IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two pie charts gives information about how online shopping changed for retail trade in canada in 2005 and 2010.

The two pie charts gives information about how online shopping changed for retail trade in canada in 2005 and 2010.
#two #information #trade #canada
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The two pie charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
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 information about how online shopping changed for retail trade in
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
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 in 2005 and 2010. In general, we can see that
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
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 in
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 sectors tended to be better off than
Correct article usage
the
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electronics and home furnishings sectors
fall
Verb problem
apply
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in 2010. As is presented in the pie charts for home furnishings changes was not for the benefit, the indicator in 2005 was about one in four decreased to 15% in comparison with food and beverage. Which is
move
Correct article usage
a move
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 upward from almost 22 per cent.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of people who did shopping
rised
Wrong verb form
rose to
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 only five per cent of video games between 2005 and 2010. Meanwhile, for electronics and
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
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appliance
Add a comma
appliance,
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 the
patternappers
Correct your spelling
pattern appears
 to be slightly
same
Correct article usage
the same
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. In 2005,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most people did online shopping in
this
Linking Words
 category, but in 2010 the most
saled
Correct your spelling
sold
 sector was food and beverage.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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