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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U.S. state of Oregon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 120 words.

The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U.S. state of Oregon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 120 words.
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The given line chart described
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in the three
Use synonyms
city
Change to a plural noun
cities
show examples
 (
Columbia
Use synonyms
,
Yamhill
Use synonyms
, Washington)
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
belong
Wrong verb form
belonged
show examples
 to
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
 of Oregon between 1940 and 2000 (in
thousands
Use synonyms
). In
general
Add a comma
general,
show examples
 over six decades, Washington’s
population
Use synonyms
 has
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
show examples
 number than
Yamhil
Correct your spelling
Yamhill
 and
Columbia
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 for
Columbia
Use synonyms
,
Yamhill
Use synonyms
 and Washington over six decades increased in number with
high
Add an article
the high
a high
show examples
 pace of growth in Washington
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
. It can be shown in the graph, there was
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 gradual
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in Washington’s
population
Use synonyms
 from approximately 75
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to over 120 thousand
people
Use synonyms
 from 1940 to 1970
then
Linking Words
 it rose dramatically almost
doubled
Wrong verb form
doubling
show examples
 to 240
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 by 2000.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 there was a similar
climbed
Replace the word
climbing
show examples
 pattern for
Yamhill
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 and
Columbia
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
. It is clear from
figure
Correct article usage
the figure
show examples
 both
Yamhill
Use synonyms
 and
Columbia
Use synonyms
 started at
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 nearly 30
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 by 1940 and
then
Linking Words
 they climbed slowly almost 45
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and over 30 thousand respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they soared significantly doubled to just over 90
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 for
Yamhill
Use synonyms
 and over 60
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 for
Columbia
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, city, columbia, yamhill, thousands, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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