IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

he table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

he table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#uk #time #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table diagram above depicts the UK unemployed had
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 free time on the activities in 1982. The information can be categorised into 4
groups
Use synonyms
, which were morning
men
Use synonyms
, morning women,
afternoon
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
, and
afternoon
Use synonyms
 women. As the data
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
, it can be seen that the
wowen
Correct your spelling
women
 tended to do housework the most in their spare time in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the
men
Use synonyms
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 various preferences between the
groups
Use synonyms
. It is so clear that the women in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2
groups
Use synonyms
 spent their time with housework the most
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
49% in morning females and 21% in
afternoon
Use synonyms
 ladies.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, the secondary activities in both of these of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
groups
Use synonyms
still
Add a missing verb
were still
show examples
 the same which was shopping by 26% and 17% respectively. In
case
Correct determiner usage
this case
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, the morning
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 like job hunting the most
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
22%
while
Linking Words
afternoon
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
 have the highest rate
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 watching TV
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 14%. All in all, the
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 tended to be more active in the morning group compared with the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 group similar to the female
groups
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ChampJT on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words groups, men, afternoon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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