Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when | they are used as money-making of attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #traditions #attractions #tourists

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Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when | they are used as

money

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-making

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apply

show examples

attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only

way

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to save these traditions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion Nowadays

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culture

Add an article

the culture

show examples

is used to attract

tourisme

Correct your spelling

tourists

, some believe it is a great idea to save

culture

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

, others say it will destroy it . I personally with

culture

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to making

money

Use synonyms

it is the best

way

Use synonyms

to save it

Firstly

Linking Words

, if cultural and traditional places are used as tourist locations it would lead to destroying them .

In other words

Linking Words

, visitors from all over the world will visit the

location's

Change noun form

location

show examples

and

due to

Linking Words

huge

use

Add a comma

use,

show examples

the traditional items may

will

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

be destroyed.

For instance

Linking Words

, I visited Sultan Qaboos

fort

Capitalize word

Fort

show examples

last

Linking Words

month it is one of the famous places and the place was dirty and crowded.

In addition

Linking Words

,the

culture

Use synonyms

may

influence

Wrong verb form

be influenced

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by the

visiters

Correct your spelling

visitors

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who are from different cultures and lose their unique value.

This

Linking Words

logic means using

culture

Use synonyms

making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

money

Use synonyms

will harm the

culture

Use synonyms

's hardly.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the other argument is the only

way

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to save antique pieces is using

cultural

Replace the word

culture

show examples

due to

Linking Words

it needs special care and a large amount of

money

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so tourism can be used as a resource to get

money

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then

Linking Words

using

this

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

to save and ticketing care of

culture

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However

Linking Words

, I believe

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apply

show examples

traditional as maney making to save

culture

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becomes if they need to preserve

culture

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means they need to build museums and professional workers and all

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

services require large amounts of

money

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, the survey done in 2023 at Sultan Qaboos University showed that the government

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

more than 1000 Omani real to save

culture

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Therefore

Linking Words

, if they refuse

Wrong verb form

to make

show examples

making

Change the verb form

to make

show examples

culture

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

resource

Add an article

a resource

the resource

show examples

it will be

Replace the word

harmful

show examples

harm

Replace the word

harmful

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

the government budget to keep spending all

this

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

Replace the word

culture

show examples

cultural

Replace the word

culture

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

some argue that cultural traditions may be destroyed when used

Change preposition

for

show examples

money

Use synonyms

making , I think it is the best

way

Use synonyms

to preserve

cultural

Replace the word

culture

show examples

because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

preserving

expensive

Add a missing verb

is expensive

show examples

and without using

cutler

Correct article usage

a cutler

show examples

to make

money

Use synonyms

will be difficult to

saving

Change the verb

save

show examples

traditional.

Submitted by almqbalimaryam on Sat Oct 07 2023

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task achievement

Provide clearer and more developed examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a coherent and logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied phrases.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

355 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Dilution of cultural traditions
Authenticity
Cultural heritage
Revenue
Financial support
Preservation
Promotion
Commodification of culture
Intrinsic value
Exposure
Global awareness
Respect and understanding
Economic gain
Local communities
Decision-making processes
Respectful portrayal

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Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when | they are used as money-making of attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative or practical subjects for which they may have more aptitude. To what extent do you agree ot disagree?

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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance, for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays, the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. How does technology affect the types of relationships that people make? Is this positive or negative development?