IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a weekly payment from the government. Some people think that this payment should be stopped and that people should be made to work for their money. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #people #payment #government #work #money
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Employment opportunities are not everywhere and finding them can be very difficult.
For
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
people
 who don'
t
 have a job decide to receive a weekly payment that the government provides. In
this
 essay, I will explain why
this
 is helpful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society but only momentarily. Nowadays there is a lack of job opportunities and some companies where you can
work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pay a very bad salary. Especially those who don'
t
 have a high education level have to take those jobs that don'
t
 pay them well in order to survive.
For example
,
people
 who
work
 at restaurants have to do
a very hard
Remove the article
very hard work
a very hard job
show examples
work
 for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 of hours and the
payment
Replace the word
pay
show examples
 is still very low.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they decide to quit but they still need money so
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can provide them
that
Change preposition
with that
show examples
 help.
On the other hand
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 others who think that these unemployed
people
 only decide to not
work
 because they don'
t
 want to when in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases
that is
 not true. In that case,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should be aware sometimes
this
 can happen and only give
this
 economic help for a certain period of time or to the ones that are
truthly
Correct your spelling
truly
 searching for a job. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong in giving others help, if
people
 are worried about their taxes because
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 is giving money to the ones that don'
t
work
, you can even do the same but it's not a situation where everyone wants to be at neither they decide it.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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