the table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies bewteeb 1975 and 2015.

#percentage #participation #women #management #three #companies #bewteeb

The table depicts information about the

participants

Change to a genitive case

participant's

participants'

show examples

proportions who were women in senior management in three different organizations

such

as Eldan

Ltd

, Bamforth

Ltd

Finsbury

Correct word choice

and Finsbury

show examples

Ltd

, over a 40-year period, starting from 1975.

Overall

, it can be seen that the involvement of female participants in Eldan

Ltd

company got the highest quantities than any other company.

Further

, The

finsbury

Change the capitalization

Finsbury

show examples

Ltd

industry remained unstable

Correct your spelling

show examples

percentage over the period shown. Looking at the data sets in more detail, it is evident that the percentage of women in Eldan remained constant between 1975 and 1980, at about 3%.

However

, it started to from 1985, which is 14%.

But

Correct word choice

However

show examples

female numbers increased dramatically to 64% in 2015, where it received the highest quantity of participants. Turning to the remaining data sets in more detail, it is shown that the company of Bamforth

Ltd

Constantly rose the women applications from 1975 to 2015, which is from 9% to 46%. Surprisingly, The percentage of

Correct article usage

the finsbury

show examples

finsbury

Change the capitalization

Finsbury

show examples

Ltd

industry fluctuated every time,

such

as 16% in 1975, 14% in 1980

then

it increased to 22%. And again it fell to 20% in 2000.

Submitted by salimmd9111 on Sun Oct 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words ltd with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "sets" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

186 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
n many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Discuss the causes and suggest solutions for the problem
It is widely argued that in many parts of the world, the health standards of the young are going down. Numerous studies show that this trend is mainly because of the advancement of technology, however, there are still some ways to tackle this issue.
5.5
band
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Educating children is more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking websites. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
People have different views that teaching children is harder than the past due to modern technology. I would agree with that issue. Despite modern technologies have benefits for children, it is being one of a major obstackles to educating children.
8
band
Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or a negative development?
Over the past few decades, there has been a profound increase in the number of individuals opting to interact with other people online and do not prefer to meet them in person. This essay agrees that this is a negative development as there is a lack of connection with local people and privacy can be breached.
4.5
band
Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university educatio benefits individuals rather than society. to what extent do you agree or disagree
The majority of people believe that students should spend their money on studying due to the advantage of education at academy better than society. This writer totally agrees with this statement and the reasons will be explained below.
<4
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
Smoking is injuries to health. Smoking in the public area is strictly prohibited in most of the countries, but still some people are looking for smoke free zone to smoke. In my opinion I agree that an indivudual shoul not smoke in the common area. In this essay I will brefiely explain why I acecpt thr given statement.

the table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies bewteeb 1975 and 2015.

n many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Discuss the causes and suggest solutions for the problem

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Educating children is more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking websites. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university educatio benefits individuals rather than society. to what extent do you agree or disagree

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.