IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goals?

#people #country #materials #goods #production #goals
Many countries ought to set an aim of producing a myriad of materials and goods is a topic of discussion among innumerable people. Many dwellers hold the sight of increasing production as an appropriate goal.
This
 essay completely agrees with the
stablement
Correct your spelling
statement
. I am convinced that a country's domestic products will refuse to depend on other countries'
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In an emergency situation without an import.
Moreover
, manufacturing is closely associated with exports, thereby improving the
economy
 of the nation, which positively affects citizens' living conditions. If a country has its own production of vital goods, it can simply go through difficult conditions or emergency occasions. In that case, it is not always possible to get substantial items from overseas imports,
in other words
, the manufacturing and transportation networks might not work at that time. Sugar, wheat, rice and other vital products are not infinitive, meanwhile, it is vital for citizens. To illustrate, Kazakhstan faced that issue in 2021, when covid-19 arrived.
Therefore
, a temporary prohibition of import appeared. It was a difficult time when the quarantine was introduced and there was nothing to find on the shelves of the stores. From my point of view, Kazakhstan could have avoided these troubles, if it had established local production. When it comes to
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
, establishing good partnerships with other countries improves the state's
economy
. Each country has resources that can be sold abroad, aside from
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
, in case the territory is not rich in resources, local factories can fabricate things that people need or do not need.
For instance
, China has never mined underground resources, vice versa, it buys materials worldwide and manufactures smartphones, computers and air-conditioners. I mean that the
economy
 of China is strong enough to provide good living conditions to its residents. All in all, a nation that produces goods on its own wins in many things, like dependence
from import
Change preposition
on imported
show examples
 items or enhancing the
economy
.
Submitted by namle.ivce on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: