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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employment?

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In recent years, self-employment has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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risen up, as
people
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 prefer to
work
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 in their own company,
instead
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 of working for others. Being a self-worker may have its pros
as well as
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 its cons. In
this
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 essay, I will present both views and explain why a more balanced
work
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 career might be the solution. Nowadays,
people
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 have shown their preference
in
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for
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 self-
work
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, as with that they earn independence. In fact, by working for themselves, it means that they can have flexible working hours.
Due to
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 that, workers are able to
distribude
Correct your spelling
distribute
 their free time corresponding to their desires. They can,
for instance
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,
work
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 three days in a row and have a leisure trip the following days.
Furthermore
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, individuals may achieve a much higher salary.
Thus
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, the more money that can be provided to them, the more luxurious
life
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 they can have. Despite the fact that individuals who are self-employed may have adequate benefits,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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also
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 they might have negative effects on their
life
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 as well.
Nevertheless
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, being a self-worker
,
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 has its own risks.
People
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 working in an organisation can be provided with security, as their salary is fixed every month,
in contrast
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, to those who are self-employed. Apart from that,
people
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 tend to be more stressed, with no time for enjoyment of
life
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,
due to
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 the fact that every difficult and demanding decision must be approved by them.
Moreover
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, as scientists have estimated,
people
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 who
work
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 in their own businesses, tend to
appear
Verb problem
have
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 more health problems,
for example
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, high blood pressure and heart diseases. In a nutshell, being a self-worker may have pros like contributing to a more luxurious
life
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,
however
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, it may have
also
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 cons like ending up in stressful situations leading to health problems. It seems to me that the best solution is a balanced career with enough time to enjoy
life
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.

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task achievement
Provide a more balanced argument by exploring both the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that states your position and provides an outline of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the coherence of your essay.
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