IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Has the importance of travel by water changed now from how it was in the past? Discuss these views and provide your opinion. You should spend 40 minutes on this topic. Write no less than 250 words. You should provide reasons for your answer.

#importance #travel #water #minutes #topic
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Nowadays, with
this
Linking Words
generation
Add a comma
generation,
show examples
 all kinds of transportation are used by technology. In the past
travel
Use synonyms
 by
water
Use synonyms
 was the main for traveling.
However
Linking Words
, now it has changed to better
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 traveling with
airplanes
Use synonyms
 and cars. I would like to discuss both views in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the past the only way to
travel
Use synonyms
 by
water
Use synonyms
 using boats.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was
amount
Correct article usage
an amount
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
passed
Correct pronoun usage
who passed
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 away
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 by
water
Use synonyms
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it was really dangerous to
travel
Use synonyms
 by
water
Use synonyms
 and a lot of boats drowning because of the huge waves.
In addition
Linking Words
, a number of folks getting lost in the middle of the sea and the food
about
Add a missing verb
is about
show examples
 to finish. Travelling by
water
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
takes a long time, and perhaps
a days
Correct the article-noun agreement
days
a day
show examples
, weeks or months.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the importance of
travel
Use synonyms
 by
water
Use synonyms
 in the past was the main way for the
people
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, now the number of travels by
water
Use synonyms
little
Add a missing verb
is little
show examples
 as in the past. But, if
people
Use synonyms
 want to
travel
Use synonyms
 by
water
Use synonyms
 they can use the modern electrical boat with all kinds of safety,
Linking Words
also
Correct pronoun usage
which also
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include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
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 a smaller number of deaths.
However
Linking Words
, now the more popular
travel
Use synonyms
 transportation is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
.
Airplane
Change the spelling
Aeroplane
show examples
 can
travel
Use synonyms
 above the seas without any
dangerous
Replace the word
danger
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
 can arrive
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 destination
approximately
Change preposition
in approximately
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 3 hours,
while
Linking Words
 boats
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 longer than that.
Finally
Linking Words
, in my opinion, now
people
Use synonyms
 are avoiding travelling by
water
Use synonyms
 as in the past, whilst now
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
 are the most important for travelling transportation for most
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hamoudisayyah on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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