More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reason for this? What are the solutions?

#people #drinks #reason

Nowadays, sugar become a significant ingredient of everything we eat, not only food but

also

drinks

. Sometimes,

there

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

will be easier to find

a sweet

Correct the article-noun agreement

a sweet drink

sweet drinks

show examples

drinks

than non-sweet

drinks

. The reason is its

sweetness

and freshness of drinking sweet

drinks

However

, sweet

drinks

cause many health

problems

this

statement I am going to illustrate how to reduce

the

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

problems

To begin

with, the main reason that make

sugar-base

Correct your spelling

sugar-based

show examples

drinks

are very popular is how delicious and fresh it is.

For example

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

imagine that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

during

the

Correct article usage

show examples

very hot or

exhausted

Replace the word

exhausting

show examples

day, if you drink

a sugar-based

Correct the article-noun agreement

sugar-based drinks

a sugar-based drink

show examples

drinks

such

softdrinks

Correct your spelling

soft drinks

, it will make you happier and feel very good.

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another reason is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

variety of choices, because of

demand

Correct article usage

the demand

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

these products, the manufacturer

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to always launch new interesting products that can gain more market share. The by-products of

this

cause are

people

have more options

Change preposition

for

show examples

sweet

drinks

and more convenient

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

access to

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

junk

drinks

Change preposition

show examples

the same time, competition

of gaining

Change preposition

to gain

show examples

market share creates

the

Correct article usage

show examples

competitive price.

Thus

, not only it is more easier to purchase it but

also

more lower prices. As a

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

show examples

, sweet

drinks

can bring many severe health issues to

people

who are

addict

Wrong verb form

addicted

show examples

them

Change preposition

to them

show examples

, especially, diabetes and overweight

problems

For example

, 1 in 3 of Thailand's population

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

diabetes, and 1 in 4 are overweight. The solution from my point of view is the government should take a

sinigficant

Correct your spelling

significant

role

to solve

Change preposition

in solving

show examples

this

Change the determiner

this problem

these problems

show examples

problems

Change preposition

apply

show examples

policies,

due to

this

is a kind of

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

problems

Fix the agreement mistake

problem

show examples

and

sweetness

can bring happiness to

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

life

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

drinking

sweet-

Correct your spelling

sweet drinks

show examples

drinks

are

moew

Correct your spelling

affordable because of war price in the business, we cannot force

people

to stop sweer-

drinks

. So, forcing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

policies is a better way.

For instance

, increasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sweetness

tax, production control and standard of sugar-based

drinks

To sum up

, even sugar-based

drinks

are give

Change the verb form

give

show examples

people's

Change noun form

people

show examples

happiness

Change preposition

through

show examples

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

deliciousness and freshness,

on the other hand

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

cause many health

problems

, not only diabetes but

also

overweight and more.

Consquently

Correct your spelling

Consequently

, the solution in my aspects is the government should

come

Add the particle

come to

show examples

take part

Change preposition

show examples

sweetness

control regulations or

sweetness

tax to

get

Verb problem

make

show examples

sweet

drinks

less affordable.

Submitted by tah.siwakorn on Sun Oct 08 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

364 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reason for this? What are the solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some students choose to study in another country for a time during high school or university. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad?

In poor families, teenagers may have to work part-time as well as study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this for these teenagers.

Some educationalist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do advantages outweight the disadvantages.

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarket is going money to schools to promote their products. Discuss both views and give your opinion.