Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality

Fame

and its impacts on celebrities’

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

fascinate many

people

Therefore

, their

stories

help sell thousands of newspapers and magazines. In my opinion,

this

status has more challenges than benefits for the

people

concerned. There are several benefits of being a public figure. The mass media frequently show us the luxury and enviable lifestyle that famous

people

enjoy. They live in huge mansions, drive supercars, and wear the latest in high fashion.

In addition

, celebrities not only spend for themselves but

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

also

provide for their family and friends.

Therefore

fame

clearly brings them great wealth.

Moreover

, famous

people

have a great deal of influence on youngsters, who dream of being like them. For that reason, public figures can even earn more money by endorsing different products and brands.

Therefore

, the main benefits of being famous appear to be financial and material. (v)

Nevertheless

this

level of

fame

has its own problems.

Firstly

, celebrities can not live a normal life anymore. If they go to public places,

such

as malls and clubs, their fans and paparazzi will crowd around them to ask for photos or autographs.

As a result

, famous

people

have little privacy and freedom.

Moreover

, the mass media creates their

fame

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

wants to share less positive

stories

about celebrities. In fact, these negative

stories

attract more clicks and views from the public than any other

stories

This

problem puts enormous pressure not only on the

people

concerned but

also

on their relatives

people

As a result

, their relationship and family lifestyle will suffer. Obviously, the wealth that stems from

fame

comes at a serious cost. In conclusion, despite being a public figure bringing enormous financial, there are more drawbacks significantly. From my point of view, only

people

can go through the problems associated with

fame

, reaping the awards from it.

Submitted by lethigialinh77 on Sun Oct 08 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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