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Band 4

Some people believe that studying at nuniversity or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that is better to get a job straight after school/ Discuss both views abd give yyour opinion.

#people #nuniversity #college #route #career #job #school #abd #yyour
There are two main reasons why
children
 tend to spend more hours watching
TV
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 often spend
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 watching
TV
 or social platforms because
lack
 of
parents's
Change noun form
parents
show examples
 care and
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
show examples
.The first reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 tendency is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
parents's
Change noun form
parents
show examples
 care. To
expain
Correct your spelling
explain
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
today's
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 era ,
due to
rush
Correct article usage
the rush
show examples
 to
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 to earn money, there are many people
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 not
taked
Correct your spelling
taken
show examples
 care of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 kids, leading to
children
 always
feel like
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
 lonely .
Children
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
got
Verb problem
have
show examples
 good mental
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 which
important
Add a missing verb
is important
show examples
 in
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
process.
As a result
, they spend more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 or
TV
.
Secondly
, I
woulk
Correct your spelling
would
 like to talk about
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
insfrastructures
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
infrastructures
 which is important for
children
. To explain,
due to
 the rapid pace of urbanization leading to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids do not have relaxing places.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
, they are not connected with a community leading to
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of communication skills.
Therefore
 , they have to
waching
Correct your spelling
watch
TV
instead
 of
good
Add a missing verb
do good
show examples
 activities with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 friends.
Parents
 can take action to reduce the amount of time their
children
 watch
TV
. Several feasible solutions,namely
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
work's
Change noun form
work
show examples
 time and often regularly
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 them to the park or good for
heathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
show examples
.
Firstly
, the
parents
arnnage
Correct your spelling
arrange
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 for work
logical
Change the word
logically
show examples
, For
isntance
Correct your spelling
instance
, they can watch
TV
 with them every evening,
read
Correct word choice
and read
show examples
Add an article
a book
the book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 with them before
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 to bed as well.
Secondly
, they can support the government in building more parks and amusement parks which are cause enrich
kid's
Change noun form
kids'
show examples
 mental
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
.
Therefore
,
children
 can
comnunicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 together which improve
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 communication skill.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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