Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is common these days that the transfer of
money
to anyone can be done
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
the help of the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. As far as I am concerned,
this
development can be positive in some aspects and negative in others, the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, accessing the
internet
is very easy nowadays and
this
can highly affect the amount of effort and time
any body
Correct your spelling
anybody
show examples
should put in order to transfer
money
.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
being able to track
youraccount
Correct your spelling
your account
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
your smartphone
any
Change preposition
at any
show examples
time of the day is a
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
show examples
saver. By way of example, individuals prefer to connect to the
internet
and manage their bank accounts and savings easily
while
having breakfast rather than getting stuck in traffic or
wait
Wrong verb form
waiting
show examples
in a long line of customers just to transfer an amount of
money
each week or even on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
bases
Fix the agreement mistake
basis
show examples
.
On the other hand
, technology and the use of electronic devices can be hard for some people like the older generation
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are less used to using gadgets and
this
update of the
money
transferring system can contribute to confusion for them.
In addition
to
this
, new methods of scams are produced by thieves that can trigger mostly
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
of
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
age
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are less likely to notice details when they use the
internet
. In conclusion,
according to
what has been discussed in the above paragraphs, there are many positive sides
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
using the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
as your banking assistant,
nonetheless
, there are
also
some negative effects to
this
trend that can lead people to confusion or in some cases they could be a target of scandals and
this
means that they may need more protection in their online activities.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: