IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The given line graph illustrates the UK acid rain gases of four sectors in the years of 1990 and 2007

The given line graph illustrates the UK acid rain gases of four sectors in the years of 1990 and 2007
Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective,it is readily apparent that the total amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
UK
acid
Use synonyms
rain
Use synonyms
 emissions experienced a
decrese
Correct your spelling
decrease
 in the entire
period
Use synonyms
. By the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1991,about 0,5
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
acid
Use synonyms
rain
Use synonyms
 gases came from the domestic sector before dipping to around
0,4million
Correct your spelling
0.4 million
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1999.
Transport
Correct article usage
The transport
show examples
 and communication sector showed
0,7million
Correct your spelling
0.7 million
tonnes
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
acid
Change preposition
of acid
show examples
rain
Use synonyms
 emissions at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 reached a peak of 1
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2005.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
, the
acid
Use synonyms
rain
Use synonyms
 emissions of these two factors were 0,2 and 0,7
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
, respectively. The
acid
Use synonyms
rain
Use synonyms
 gases from electricity,gas and water supply were 3,4million
tonnes
Use synonyms
 at the start of the
period
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 plummeted to nearly 1,4million
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1997 and
this
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 fluctuated between the years of 1999 and 2003,before reaching 0,5million
tonnes
Use synonyms
 by the
year
Use synonyms
 of 2007.Around
2,1million
Correct your spelling
2.1 million
tonnes
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
acid
Change preposition
of acid
show examples
rain
Use synonyms
 gases came from other sectors in 1991.
This
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 remained unchanged in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1991 and 1993,
then
Linking Words
 experienced a gradual decrease every
year
Use synonyms
 and bottomed out of
1,2million
Correct your spelling
1.2 million
tonnes
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words acid, rain, period, year, million, tonnes, figure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: