e people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Children will become adults in the future, and they need to be properly educated and taken care
by
Change preposition
of by
show examples
their parents. Some people believe that kids should spend leisure time doing
activities
with others to develop socialization,
whereas
others reckon that
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
should rather practice how to manage themselves. In
this
essay,
both
views will be elaborated on
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
following paragraphs before my perspective is reached. On the one hand, spending free time playing with friends or family is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the learning
activities
. As they stay with others, they learn how to communicate and socialize. These provide numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
benefits when they become
muture
Correct your spelling
mature
.
For example
, the pupils who studied in a classroom with a lot of friends are likely to be better
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
team players,
while
kids who
did
Verb problem
apply
show examples
homeschool
Replace the word
homeschooled
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more likely to be
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
and non-socialized people.
Therefore
, doing
a group
Correct the article-noun agreement
group activities
a group activity
show examples
activities
can improve the positive skills
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
pupils.
On the other hand
, some people believe that learning how to control
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
is more important
due to
being more patient and endure. The person who
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
himself very well can easily find happiness with the things that they have. To illustrate, monks who are always being alone and doing meditation have better mental health than individuals who party hard
surrounding
Wrong verb form
surrounded
show examples
by many friends because monks can find happiness inside their mind, regardless of
Correct article usage
the weathy
show examples
weathy
Correct your spelling
wealthy
weather
and
luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
show examples
lifestyle.
Hence
, learning how to be with yourself can elevate your mental health. In conclusion,
both
joining social
activities
and manipulating themselves have their own advantages.
Practicing
Change the spelling
Practising
show examples
both
sides can
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
more benefits than doing only one thing, so
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
should encourage
thier
Correct your spelling
their
child to do
both
to maximize the benefits.
Submitted by pantamitsaekong on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • organized
  • group activities
  • free time
  • social skills
  • friendships
  • structured environment
  • teamwork
  • cooperation
  • hobbies
  • interests
  • playing alone
  • creativity
  • independent thinking
  • life skills
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • sufficient
  • alone time
  • imagination
  • self-expression
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