The two pie charts shows how many shopping sales sectors for retailing in Canada 2005 and 2012,compared to each year.
The two pie charts 2005 and 2012,compared to each
shows
how many shopping sales Change the verb form
show
sectors
for retailing in CanadaChange preposition
in
year
.
The percentage from 2005
Change the article
the 2005
year
sharply increased ar
some sections in five years.As can be seen from the second pie chart, Correct your spelling
are
food
and beverage goods Made a significant growth a small portion but it is a horse argument for a moment .Furthermore
only 5% of 2005 year go
up which means online shopping Wrong verb form
went
at
some Change preposition
in
sectors
it’s not that
popular as Correct word choice
as
food
shopping .meanwhile
home furnishing Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
decrease
slightly different than electronicsWrong verb form
decreased
one
. because of going down it’s it for 10% out of Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
total how much for all sales of smallsmall
minority for next five years in 2005 and 2010.Correct your spelling
small
For example
,all upward trends expand
Wrong verb form
expanded
for
14% Change preposition
by
in
Change preposition
apply
this
years
,Fix the agreement mistake
year
whereas
downward trends amounts
to 15% the fractional difference Change the verb form
amount
for
one percent doesn’t Change preposition
of
seems
a lot.
It’s clear that Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
at
2010 Change preposition
in
year
old like shopping got
less popular in some Verb problem
became
sectors
than food
and video games ,Change preposition
in food
however
,will this
mean that people find this
Change the determiner
this sector
these sectors
sectors
(food
, video games)more practical to buy online according to
their preference.
Change the punctuation
?
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sectors, year, food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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