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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Most countries spend lots of money on education as they start to recognise its importance. In your opinion which two following subjects are the most important for your people and which one is the least important? Subject: Literature, Sport, Mathematics, Economy, Physics, History, Music, Geography.

5.5 / 9
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Introduction
It has been said that investing in education is investing in one's future:
this
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 is true for both individuals and nations. It is always somewhat subjective to say which is more important, the humanities or
sciences
Correct article usage
the sciences
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, as both have value.
However
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, I would like to make a case for the importance of math and
economics
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 in
this
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 day and age.
Body paragraph 1
Let us begin with math. Mathematics is a foundation subject which bridges many different fields, from physics and chemistry to the Internet and modern medicine. All of our
materials
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material
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 advances in the 20th century could not have happened without advanced mathematics. To be sure, it will play a critical role in meeting challenges like global warming and space travel, to name just a few, in the future.
Body paragraph 2
Likewise
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,
economics
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 is a fundamental discipline that allows societies to be stable and move forward. History is full of
example
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examples
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 of kingdoms and empires that collapsed as their
Use synonyms
economics
Correct your spelling
economies
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 declined. Most obviously, we
need
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need to
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 look no
further
Linking Words
 than the current economic meltdown to see the importance of
economics
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. The jobs and
wellbeing
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well-being
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 of individuals and nations alike depend upon a deeper understanding of
this
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 field.
Body paragraph 3
While
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 all subjects have their merit, perhaps Geography does not have the same importance it once did. After all, in our modern world we have 3-D maps online that allow us to see anywhere with the click of
mouse
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the mouse
a mouse
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. But to reiterate, we need a balanced approach to education where we still produce artists
and
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apply
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thinkers
and
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apply
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historians and so on.
Conclusion
To summarize, math and
economics
Use synonyms
 are critical subjects in the
21th
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21st
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 century. Governments must do their part to make sure we invest in these key areas and have qualified teachers. By doing so, they will ensure our prosperity and
and
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apply
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progress.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the writer's opinion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the importance of math and economics.
task achievement
Consider providing counterarguments or addressing potential objections to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Include a concluding paragraph that summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words more consistently to improve coherence.
lexical resource
Expand vocabulary and use more academic language.
grammatical range accuracy
Make minor grammar and punctuation corrections.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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