The graph below shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012

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The bar graph illustrates the levels of males and females who are playing sport in an area of England in 2012. In general, the figures for boys who attend most of the sports activities except for badminton and swimming were higher than girls.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Hockey was the least popular for both genders. The highest level of boys was registered by football, accounting for 60. The next highest numbers were exhibited by tennis, at 50, and swimming, at 40.

In contrast

Linking Words

, badminton and cycling were the least common, with 30 and approximately 40

people

Use synonyms

, respectively. Regarding females, the rate of swimming favourite in the town stood first place, accounting for 50

people

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the levels of girls participating in badminton were 40, which was higher than tennis, at over 30

people

Use synonyms

; meanwhile, cycling and football accounted for a similar number of joining (20

people

Use synonyms

Finally

Linking Words

, Hockey was the lowest level in both genders, at 15 and nearly 10

people

Use synonyms

, respectively.

Submitted by lethigialinh77 on Tue Oct 10 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

159 words

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The graph below shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

Some people believe that studying in a college or university is the best way for students to prepare for their future career Others think they should leave school as soon as possible to develop their career through work experience. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The most importan aim of science is to should be to improve people's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health. To what extent do you agree with these views?

The best way for the government to solve the traffic congestion problems in cities is to provide free bus service 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?