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Many countries have compulsary military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #compulsary #service #men #school #idea #system #women
Many young men are obliged to serve in
military
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the military
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 after their
high-school
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high school
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 in several countries
such
 as North Korea and Israel. The idea of compulsory military
service
 is often recommended for all countries by including both men and women, primarily to
instill
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instil
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 a strong sense of nationality in them. I find
this
 proposition ludicrous, irrespective of
the
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apply
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gender, and my disapproving stance is grounded in the principles of independent choice and the concern for
loss
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the loss
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 of innovative productivity, which are discussed in the ensuing paragraphs.
Firstly
,
a
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apply
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mandatory enlistment in
army
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the army
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 throttles one's autonomy of choice
,
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apply
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 and can lead to frustration, as the individual can feel coerced into doing something he/she is utterly uninterested in. A study by
behavioral
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behavioural
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 psychologists from Columbia University, which showed
positive
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a positive
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 correlation between teenage coercion and chronic dissatisfaction, serves as compelling evidence
to
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of
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 how
a
Correct article usage
apply
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compulsory military
service
 might lead to a nation full of residents with pernicious trauma.
Secondly
, the obligatory
service
 significantly risks wasting
intelligence
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the intelligence
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 of an entire class of graduating students. As high school graduates are full of ideas, and vigorously excited to pursue them, only universities, and not the military camps, will serve as sanctuaries to nourish them. Imagine how big of a loss it would have been if Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg, who developed Windows and Facebook respectively at university, had been forced to join
military
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the military
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 after high school potentially leading them to lose interest in their planned pursuit. In conclusion, owing to the possibility of unfulfilled sentiment among citizens
due to
 early coercion,
coupled with
 a probable loss of productive innovation it causes, compulsory military
service
 after school can be extremely detrimental to a country.
Therefore
, I am critically vocal against the recommendation of enforcing
such
system
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a system
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 in every country.
Submitted by swikritishrestha90 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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