In the future, the main reason for going to shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes argued that
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
reason to visit shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
is for entertainment only . Some
people
believe that the
malls
are for both entertainment and
shop
Wrong verb form
shopping
show examples
.
This
essay aims to disagree with the above notice and explain why both are important.
To begin
with, It is
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
show examples
fact that lots of investors are lured to spend money on the
malls
because it attract
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of local
people
and tourists as well.
In addition
to that,
malls
are build
Change the verb form
are built
show examples
like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recreation
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
nowadays where everyone can enjoy
along with
shopping.
As a result
, it is
irrefutable
Correct article usage
an irrefutable
show examples
fact that investors are creating more than one branch.Nowadays
malls
are built for everyone.
For example
, there are
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of games facility for
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
,
youngsters
Correct word choice
so youngsters
show examples
can enjoy their leisure time.
In addition
to it, if
people
just want
enjoymement
Correct your spelling
enjoyment
, they can go to amusement
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
,
garden
Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
show examples
or plazas.
Main
Change the article
The main
show examples
purpose of
malls
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
for shopping only
entertainement
Correct your spelling
entertainment
is just added as cheery on top. If
people
want more enjoyment facilities in
malls
they can look for outdoor facilities.
For example
, there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of outdoor facilities like
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
safari,
wonderland
Correct word choice
and wonderland
show examples
where you get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scary rides. In conclusion, having mulled over the aforementioned paragraph
it is clear that
there are thousands of activities
people
can do in the mall.
However
, shopping will always
will
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
be
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
reason to visit
malls
.
Submitted by rajparul86 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the given prompt by discussing both perspectives and providing a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay in a more logical manner by clearly stating the main points and providing supporting evidence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
grammatical range and accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and precision.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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