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Band 4

Some university stundents want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #stundents #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
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Some
students
Use synonyms
 have a willingness to learn other
subjects
Use synonyms
besides
Linking Words
 their main
subject
Use synonyms
,
while
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 others believe that investing their time and money in studying for a
qualification
Use synonyms
 is more important. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand, it is common that most
students
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 have
such
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 a high curiosity to learn other majors outside their main major because of several things.
First,
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some
students
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 want to widen their
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
 and comprehend their understanding of knowledge itself.
This
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 means that
students
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 sometimes want to learn about other perspectives that enrich their previous perspective so that they can see
one
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 phenomenon or
one
Use synonyms
 problem from many
point
Change to a plural noun
points
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 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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 that might
be leading
Wrong verb form
lead
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 them to several possible solutions.
Second,
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some
students
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 want to widen their social circle so that their life is more colourful. It has to be admitted that sometimes having friends from different
subjects
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 is so beneficial in many aspects not only for entertainment purposes but
also
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 in a chance to get job vacancies later on.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that most
students
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 should focus more on getting a
qualification
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 rather than learning another
subject
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 because of making
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 resume and preparing to be a professional.
Resume
Add an article
A resume
The resume
show examples
 is
one
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 of the important documents that
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
show examples
 when
applying
Add the preposition
applying for
show examples
 jobs. A good resume can be made by doing some training in
one
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 field to get a certificate as a
signed
Replace the word
sign
show examples
 of qualifications.
That is
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 why some
students
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 are highly recommended to reach
this
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qualification
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 rather than wasting time and effort to learn new
subjects
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is aligned with the perspective that several qualifications in
one
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
 can make
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
ease
Correct your spelling
easy
show examples
 to be a professional because they have special skills. In the capitalist system, a specialized worker is highly needed rather than a worker with different skills. All in all, some
students
Use synonyms
Change the verb form
want
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wants
Add the particle
wants to
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 learn
another
Replace the adjective
another subject
other subjects
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
 their main
subject
Use synonyms
 because they can gain
comprehensive
Add an article
a comprehensive
show examples
 understanding and they can
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
 new friends with different
subjects
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. Meanwhile, some people believe is better to get a
qualification
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 for the sake of making
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 resume for
job
Correct article usage
a job
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 and preparing for a professional worker.
However
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, the second opinion is just
to
Replace the word
too
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 conventional and strict for
students
Use synonyms
 who should have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 way of thinking that can make them more creative and have resiliency to face many problems.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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