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Writing Samples
Band 8

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The graph gives information on five distinct equipment used by the proportion of American families over the four-year period.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
it is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 washing machines were the most popular technology in 1995,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the Internet was the least. All of the machines had rising trends throughout the whole period. In 1995, there was 60 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of domestic families in the USA used washing machines, and the second most popular stuff was computers, which had two-fifths of users. Over the following three years, these increased steadily, yet the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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 who had phones, which experienced a significant growth, outweighed those with computers, they were almost 75 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and 70 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 respectively in the year 1999. By 1995, the figure for owning DVD players was just under 25 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and it decreased to around 15 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in 1996. After that, DVD rose stably year by year and it had the same proportion of households as the Internet just over 20 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and 30 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in the years 1997 and 1998.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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