Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to tranfer money to friends, family and businesses. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

#people #internet #smartphones #tranfer #money #friends #businesses #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, a lot of

people

Use synonyms

use the internet and smartphones when they want to transfer

money

Use synonyms

to friends, and businesses. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is a positive development because it is fast and convenient.

Firstly

Linking Words

, when

people

Use synonyms

use online banking, they can transfer their

money

Use synonyms

within a short time.

In other words

Linking Words

, by having banking apps,

people

Use synonyms

can transfer

money

Use synonyms

at any time they want and their family or friends can receive it within minutes.

For example

Linking Words

, students who live in

foreign

Add an article

a foreign

show examples

country can receive

money

Use synonyms

immediately from their parents through

this

Linking Words

service.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will benefit

people

Use synonyms

who need

money

Use synonyms

urgently.

Secondly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who get their

money

Use synonyms

by using the internet will feel safe.

That is

Linking Words

to say, they will not be worried about their

money

Use synonyms

when they send.

For instance

Linking Words

, no one can know how much

money

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

have in their

account

Fix the agreement mistake

accounts

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, when

people

Use synonyms

have a lot of

money

Use synonyms

online banking

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is the safest way for them. In conclusion, in my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is a positive development. If anyone

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to send

money

Use synonyms

in a fast and safe way, online banking is the answer.

Submitted by s_syedy on Wed Oct 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary and Sentence Structure

Provide more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Coherence and Logical Development

Ensure that each paragraph is logically connected to the next to maintain coherence throughout the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

188 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advanatges?
In light of the proliferation of technology, people are able to communicate worldwide, leading to cross-cultural interactions. Therefore, the disparities between countries are shortened, resulting in a trend of watching the same TV channel. Although companies can promote their goods through this tendency, this writer contends that it may cause ethnocide and conflicts between countries.
6.5
band
You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • explain why you want to take time off work • give details of the amount of time you need suggest how your work could be covered while you are away
I am writing to request some unpaid leave next month.
7
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
With the development of the economy, many merchants choose to use novel advertising to attract consumers. There are some advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.
4.5
band
it is a natural process for animal species to become extinct(dinasaure, dodo) there is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Extinction of animals has been occured in some geological eras which had been an inevitable part of evolution. There are a number of individuals who argue that preventing this natural process is not imperative. I am definitely against this atittude.
7.5
band
Some people think that sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe it is a vital part of education. Discuss bot views and give your opinion.
Whilst many people consider that paying attention to the main subjects in terms of money and time is more necessary rather than engaging in sports activities in schools, others and I believe that it affects positively children’s physical health and education.

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to tranfer money to friends, family and businesses. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Word Count

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advanatges?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

it is a natural process for animal species to become extinct(dinasaure, dodo) there is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe it is a vital part of education. Discuss bot views and give your opinion.