The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of expenses (on three things) to the
overall
spending, which
categorized
Add a missing verb
was categorized
show examples
by the
age
groups
of UK citizens in 2004.
Overall
, food and beverages
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the highest contributor to the total expenditure in some
age
groups
.
Furthermore
, there are only slight percentage differences among these categories in the 31-45 and 46-60
age
groups
. Most of the
overall
expense of residents belonging to the
age
groups
of 31-45, 46-60, and 76+ is spent on food and drink.
For instance
,
this
accounted for more than 20%
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
the 76+ years old citizens. On the other side, some
age
groups
show that the least contributor
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
their expenditure is restaurant and hotel. The expenditures on food and drink, restaurant and hotel, and entertainment account for similar proportions to the total spending between the
age
groups
of 31-45 and 46-60.
For instance
, more than 10% of the expense
allocated
Add a missing verb
is allocated
show examples
for each of these categories among the 46-60
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
old residents.
Submitted by shanniania on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for instance, overall".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: