Promotions to higher levels should be from within a company and not to new person from outside . Do you agree or disagree?

#promotions #levels #company #person

The importance of giving promotion to old workers rather than giving to outsiders

was

Verb problem

has

show examples

always debatable and it has become more controversial with some people claiming that it is beneficial

while

others reject

this

notion. The substantial influence of

this

trend has sparked

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational.

This

essay will

further

elaborate my views for favouring the positive impact of

this

trend and

thus

will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining

further

Add an article

the further

show examples

first

Correct article usage

the first

show examples

and foremost reason behind

this

is that present employees of an organisation have more experience than

ousiders

Correct your spelling

outsiders

which results in

increment

Correct article usage

an increment

show examples

in sales of a company.

Additionally

, saves

company's

Correct article usage

the company's

show examples

time and money because hiring new candidates for

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

position

Fix the agreement mistake

positions

show examples

is a complicated and

time consuming

Add a hyphen

time-consuming

show examples

process which requires

investment

Add an article

an investment

the investment

show examples

of money in advertising the job vacancy on various websites

whereas

, in order to promote an old worker authorities only need to check past achievements of a worker and need to provide less training than a new hire.

Consequently

, it benefits the organisation financially. Probing ahead, another major reason in

this

regrad

Correct your spelling

regard

is that it is immoral to ignore hardworking individuals who

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

been contributing to

success

Correct article usage

the success

show examples

of an institute

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

a long time period.

Moreover

, experienced staff

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more loyal and passionate towards a job and

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

high expectations from a workplace.

For instance

, social media

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

revealed an incident in Canada in which a person who was two years away from

retiring

Replace the word

retirement

show examples

age was fired from a job in order to hire

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

worker and

this

issue

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

made many people upset.

Therefore

, big institutes should respect the hard work of their workers. To recapitulate,

according to

the

arguements

Correct your spelling

arguments

aforementioned above, one can reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

conclusion that the benefits and reasons are indeed too great to ignore.

Submitted by gill.g24 on Thu Oct 12 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve your lexical resource score.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some children spent hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a possitive or a negative development?
Nowadays , More young people have got phone and they are spenting more time for smartphones because Phone has got more games and Their parents do not spent for children. if children will use from phone for aducation, it is good but They will play game, it is not good
<4
band
Death penalty is still practiced in jurisdiction system of many countries. Some people believe that this type of punishment should be abolished. However, others are of opposite opinion. Discuss both sides of this debate and give your own opinion.
Most of countries had have been using death setence to handle severe crimes which were commited by while some competely banned such punishments. Both sides have valid reasons to prove their points, that will be discussed in the following paragraphs along with my viewpoint.
7
band
International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do Advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that in many countries the number of people traveling has increased over recent years. There are reasons which can be identified to account for this trend and travelers undoubtedly benefit from the chance to travel more frequently and to visit even the most far-flung destinations.
4.5
band
some people say that, to reduce traffic congestion in large city, governments should act to reduce the number of cars on the roads. others say that it is the responsibility of individuals to use cars less and public ptransport more. discuss both these views and give your opinion. give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The solution to manage traffic in big cities has been discussed currently. Some people suppose that the authority is in charge of reducing private vehicles on the road in order to reduce cars congestion. Meanwhile, the others believe that individual's awareness to lower the use of cars is needed and to utilize public transport instead of keep using automobile. I personally believe that collective action is required to fight traffic issues related to overloaded cars on the street. I personally believe that in other words, wise government policy and individual awareness should work hand in hand for a better traffic management in the future.
6
band
Education for young people is important in many countries. However, others think government should spend more money for education in adult population who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In many nations, schooling is an essential to source of youngsters’ life. And other believe that the government ought to spend lots of money on an unknowable adolescents who cannot read and write well. I completely agree with this view and think that authorities should spend more money on unknowable adults, because they may be well-qualified and important people who can be useful to society.

Promotions to higher levels should be from within a company and not to new person from outside . Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spent hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a possitive or a negative development?

Death penalty is still practiced in jurisdiction system of many countries. Some people believe that this type of punishment should be abolished. However, others are of opposite opinion. Discuss both sides of this debate and give your own opinion.

International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do Advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Education for young people is important in many countries. However, others think government should spend more money for education in adult population who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?