Hotel management has decided to upgrade the security in and around the campus. The management has sent out and opinion survey to see what residents would like to have as a new security measures. You are residing in a college hostel Opinion A: New HD night vision cameras covering the area around the campus Opinion B: Installing Biometric lock on the door

#hotel #management #security #campus #survey #residents #measures #college #hostel #hd #night #vision #cameras #area #b #biometric #door

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

According to

Linking Words

prospective

Correct your spelling

perspective

show examples

, New

Use synonyms

night

Use synonyms

vision

Use synonyms

cameras

Use synonyms

should be installed for the safety of

hostel

Correct article usage

the hostel

show examples

campus

Use synonyms

. Even though

, Biometric

Correct your spelling

a biometric

lock on the door is

also

Linking Words

Change the article

apply

show examples

crucial.

However

Linking Words

, we can adjust without

smart

Add an article

a smart

show examples

lock on the door for some time.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

Use synonyms

night

Use synonyms

vision

Use synonyms

cameras

Use synonyms

are crucial for the security of the hostel

campus

Use synonyms

because

these camera

Change the determiner

this camera

these cameras

show examples

will

surveilance

Correct your spelling

surveillance

each and every corner of the hostel.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will hinder the possibility of theft and crime.

On the contrary

Linking Words

biometrics

Correct article usage

the biometrics

show examples

lock is only suitable for the front entrance as

lock

Add an article

the lock

show examples

can not save

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

corner of the

campus

Use synonyms

Addition

Change preposition

In addition

show examples

this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

night

Use synonyms

vision

Use synonyms

cameras

Use synonyms

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

Artificial

Correct article usage

an Artificial

show examples

intelligence feature with which

cameras

Use synonyms

can detect the face of

suspect

Correct article usage

a suspect

show examples

even in the dark

night

Use synonyms

Resultantly

Rephrase

As a result

show examples

, we can catch the suspect with the help of footage even after some time of crime.

Linking Words

While

Correct word choice

show examples

on the other hand

Linking Words

, Smart lock could

be break

Change the verb form

be broken

show examples

easily and we can not get the clue of suspect if anybody

break

Change the verb form

breaks

show examples

the lock and

invade

Change the verb form

invades

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

campus

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Concerning these reasons, I would prefer

Use synonyms

night

Use synonyms

vision

Use synonyms

cameras

Use synonyms

should be installed in and around the

campus

Use synonyms

. Again,

this

Linking Words

is my personal belief. I would accept the decision of management whatever will be made. I appreciate the opportunity to provide input

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue.

Submitted by turshantkumar99.10 on Thu Oct 12 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas in a more cohesive and structured manner.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary.

grammatical range accuracy

Improve your sentence structure and grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

221 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Children ore focing rnore pressures nowodoYs from ocddemic, socio, ond commercio, perspecfives. Whol ore fhe couses of fhese pressures ond whcrt rneosures should be loken to reduce lhese pressures?
It is commonly said that today's children are pressurized and are facing harder and harder academic, social
4.5
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In the realm of public health, a perennial debate revolves around whether public should go to doctors or do alternative treatments and medicines. This is the dichotomy between mainstream and non-mainstream that happens in many other fields. I am inclined to believe that people with the non-mainstream view, going to alternative institutions instead of the common one, have negative aspects.
6.5
band
As the result of tourisms and the incresing number of people traveling, there's an growingh demand for more flights. What problems does it have on the enviroment? What measures could be taken to solve the problem?
Due to the arrival of a trend for travelling, the number of travellers has risen dramatically, which results in the growing demand for flights. I will examine some negative consequences that it poses on the environment and provide practical solutions to minimize the effects of humans on nature.
4.5
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
The question of whether to buy or rent a house has always been an arguable concept. However, total ownership of a house instead of renting it is more idealistic in certain parts of the world. will discuss three significant rationales, and give my opinion on the benefits or demerits behind such a preference.
7
band
The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Undoubtedly, the shortage of housing in metropolitan areas is a major social issue and has a serious impact on their citizens. Some advocates mentioned that only the government can take the appropriate actions to resolve this vital problem. The regulator can formulate the long-term resolution of the housing problem and commercial companies or non-profit organizations can work with government bodies to manipulate the short-term rules to help those people suffering from a shortage of housing.

Fully explain your ideas

Children ore focing rnore pressures nowodoYs from ocddemic, socio, ond commercio, perspecfives. Whol ore fhe couses of fhese pressures ond whcrt rneosures should be loken to reduce lhese pressures?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

As the result of tourisms and the incresing number of people traveling, there's an growingh demand for more flights. What problems does it have on the enviroment? What measures could be taken to solve the problem?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?