Nowadays experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Advantages, Disadvantages

#workplace #countries

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the

Correct your spelling

21st

centry

Correct your spelling

century

, employers prefer their

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

to have a pile of related working experience. A packed previous workspace experiences have

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

one of the most important

aspect

Change to a plural noun

aspects

show examples

in the

curiculum

Correct your spelling

curriculum

ritae

Correct your spelling

vitae

rate

rite

. The weight of academic achievements may come second in the consideration. It is a

rational

Correct your spelling

national

show examples

trend for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

business men

Correct your spelling

businessmen

show examples

this

Linking Words

trategy

Correct your spelling

strategy

would help

boosting

Wrong verb form

boost

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cost effectiveness

Add a hyphen

cost-effectiveness

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

downside

Add an article

the downside

a downside

show examples

for

fresh

Change the adjective

freshly

show examples

graduated students

for being

Verb problem

is that it is

show examples

hard to start a job could be noticed.

Well experienced

Add a hyphen

Well-experienced

show examples

workers could always make the workspace easier. They can get on the job as soon as they

started

Wrong verb form

start

show examples

. Leaders are free from the hustle of inputting extra effort to train the newcomers.

Soon

Rephrase

As soon

show examples

as they get the position, they could contribute to the team.

Refering

Correct your spelling

Referring

Mr.

Change the punctuation

show examples

Samson Ma, the CEO of Leap Tech,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

once said that the key

for

Change preposition

show examples

boosting the productivity and sales rate was to

recrute

Correct your spelling

recruit

those who already know what they will be facing in the

feild

Correct your spelling

field

. Saying that

well experienced

Add a hyphen

well-experienced

show examples

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

may bring the company to a higher level by raising

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productivity.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend may

appeared

Change the verb form

appear

show examples

to be unfair and stressful for the fresh graduates. They devoted much time

for

Change preposition

show examples

reaching a higher education level but still could not be signed.

Refering

Correct your spelling

Referring

to the

emplyoment

Correct your spelling

employment

unemployment

rate report 2023 by the Labour

society

Capitalize word

Society

show examples

. Less than 60% of fresh graduates could not find their targeted job related to their proficiency

due to

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

workspace

Change preposition

of workspace

show examples

experience.

This

Linking Words

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

the youngster

suffering

Change the verb form

to suffer

show examples

in frustration. What is more

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they could not even get the chance to be in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

feild

Correct your spelling

field

. The door will

seemed

Change the verb form

seem

show examples

to be closed. It is true that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the well

equiped

Correct your spelling

equipped

and experienced workers are the smart choice to choose. But there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

potential in the

gradutes

Correct your spelling

graduates

. It is a matter of time that they get used to the working pace and

requirement

Fix the agreement mistake

requirements

show examples

. Personally, there is no reason to say no to

cultivate

Wrong verb form

cultivating

show examples

fresh blood in the field. Perhaps they may bring a new

herizon

Correct your spelling

horizon

to the crowds and make a great devotion.

Submitted by asllchkied on Fri Oct 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.
An increasing number of married couples around the world choosing to remain childless. The main benefits of not having a child for couples are that they can focus on their careers and have more time for themselves. The main drawbacks are that they cannot fit into their peers’ groups and have no one to look after them when they get old.
6
band
Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?
In recent times, maintaining a healthy balanced diet has been difficult for many due to two main reasons. Firstly, people are indulged in a busy lifestyle; and secondly, budget restrictions have made it easier for people to pivot towards fast foods. This negative development can be solved by increasing the prices of processed foods and by reducing the prices of organic fruits and vegetables, in addition to educating the population.
6.5
band
Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The inclusion of art in the school curriculum is a topic of considerable debate. Some argue that art is a vital part of a child's education, while others believe it is a waste of time and resources. This essay will examine both perspectives and present my opinion.
<4
band
Some people believe that governments should invest more in improving public transportation systems to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Others argue that individuals should take responsibility for reducing traffic problems by using public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Traffic congestion and air pollution are the biggest problems facing every country across the world, particularly in their large cities. Some people say that the government should invest more in improving public transportation systems to reduce these problems while others assume that individuals also should take responsibility for these circumstances. Both sides will be discussed below along with my point of view.
<4
band
The pie charrs show a range or areas that people in Japan and Malaysia spend a money a year
The pie charts compare the expenditure of household in Japan and Malaysia in terms of five different categories.

Nowadays experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Advantages, Disadvantages

Fully explain your ideas

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The pie charrs show a range or areas that people in Japan and Malaysia spend a money a year