Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. others believe that individuals who contribute to society like scientist and teacher are more successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
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, success is defined
to
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as
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the
people
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who can make more
money
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due to
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life
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fulfilment. others say that
people
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contribute
Correct pronoun usage
who contribute
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to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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would be more valuable in
life
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. There are both perspectives that I will elaborate more
below
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on below
show examples
. On the one hand,
people
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who can make more
money
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enable
Wrong verb form
are able
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to fulfill their needs. Many purposes of
life
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would be realized by more spending
money
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,
such
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as education and health. These are important aspects for
people
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to have a better
life
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.
Firstly
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, Parents who send their children to excellent
school
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schools
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and private
course
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courses
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would
Wrong verb form
will
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generate a
competive
Correct your spelling
competitive
individual in the future.
Secondly
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, Having
a
Correct article usage
apply
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regular health treatment could
give
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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benefit
for
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apply
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their body and
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
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them
to get
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from getting
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serious
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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;
therefore
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, they are happier to run their
life
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.
On the other hand
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, contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
is more priority than having a lucrative salary. When
people
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dedicate their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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to
give
Verb problem
having
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a positive impact
to
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
, they have been being successful. It is because those
people
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are not only thinking about themselves but
also
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have a desire to give a sense of hope.
For instance
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, in remote
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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, some teachers are struggling to educate
people
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in the class
although
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they are paid low for the profession.
However
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,
this
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moment gives
a
Remove the article
apply
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hope
for
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to
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the families who send their children to study for a better
life
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. In conclusion,
Indeed
Rephrase
apply
show examples
having a lot of
money
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can
serve
Verb problem
provide
show examples
people
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for
Change preposition
with
show examples
many opportunities in
life
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.
However
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, the important indicator is about how much positive impact to
society
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that
people
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can bring to create an
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
towards
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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