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Band 4.5

Do you think consumer should avoid over packed products or is it the responsibility of producers to avoid extra over packing products? Give your view or any relevant example with your own experiences.

#consumer #products #responsibility #producers #experiences
It is true that over-packaged goods increase the amount of waste and damage the environments we live.
Therefore
, some people harbour a belief that producers and shops
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 sell products with less packing, whilst others hold the viewpoint that consumers are responsible for their choices.
This
 essay will delve into both perspectives in a comprehensive manner before explicating my position.
Initially
, one of the main arguments in its favour is that manufacturers and shipping malls have significant impacts on products. The problem could be alleviated when they start to provide more options for less-packaged items. It could become an increasing trend when there are more and more companies pay attention to environmental protection.
Besides
, the cost will be saved
due to
 the reduction of packing and images connecting with eco-friendly will result in a positive reputation. At the other end of the spectrum, individuals have primary responsibilities for their well-being. The items with delicate packing must
because
Add a missing verb
be because
show examples
 there are customers who long for
this
 kind of goods. The awareness of changing personal shopping habits plays a vital role
to improve
Change preposition
in improving
show examples
 the circumstances.
Thus
, consumers are obliged to protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 by adjusting their own behavior since they are the origins of the waste.
To sum up
,
according to
 the above reasons, I think that both parties are accountable for the issue. As there is only one Earth, it is imperative to work together to arouse public consciousness so as to
effciently
Correct your spelling
efficiently
 reduce unnecessary consumption.
Otherwise
, the phenomenon will
last
 or even get worse in the future.
Submitted by s99104032 on

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introduction conclusion present
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to your essay. These sections are missing in your current response.
supported main points
Your main points are not clearly supported. Make sure to provide clear examples or evidence to support your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas lack depth and development. Make sure to provide more detailed explanations and analysis.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is weak. Make sure to present your ideas in a clear and organized manner.
complete response
Your essay does not fully address the prompt. You should provide a clearer opinion and discuss both perspectives in more detail.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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